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Renee Jayne

Why you should do absolutely nothing

in Emotional & Mental Health, Love Yourself, naked nutrition, Renee's BLOG on 08/15/14

I felt recently like someone had sucked every bit of knowledge and wisdom out of me… It was as if I was numb and in a different body and had lost my memory….

Are you tired and on the go constantly? Your to do list is never ending. And the thought of taking a full day off just for you is so exciting to your heart and soul but your head quickly chimes in to tell you that you’re not allowed…?

Today, I want to talk about the art of doing absolutely nothing and why I have resisted this kicking and screaming… Then, at the end of this message… I have a shameless plug about my new course, Naked Nutrition: Love Your Body, Love Your Food, that will be opening up for registration really soon and I couldn’t be more excited about that!!

Before I get to that through, I want to share with you why I have resisted doing nothing and felt like a numb shell of myself who had lost her wisdom.

Working with clients is one of my favorite parts of my career… I get to say wisdom to them that no one else would ever say while being a huge catalyst for change in their life. It gives me this unique opportunity to listen to them and relax into my body and be really present for them, for myself and for the sake of growth.  It comes easy to me when I’m in flow… It’s almost like I’m doing nothing.

However, I have noticed that one of my deep rooted fears of worth comes up in other areas of my life which makes me resist slowing down to “do nothing”.

As a young child, a received messages that it is Not okay to simply do nothing.

I was a very busy little girl growing up, always working on a project, building something or moving. Then, I became an entrepreneur at 21 and worked like a dog while in college, I would collapse into the couch like a dead weight at the end of the day and wake up to do it all over again the next. If I had a day off, I didn’t know what to do with myself and I felt guilty for doing nothing.

For the past 5-6 years, there has been tremendous growth in this area of my life… I slowed down and learned to embrace that voice in my head that told me I had to be “doing” all the time… but I didn’t need to listen to it all the time.

Well, I’m having another evolution with it now…  In the past 5 years, I’ve done a lot of things (birthed a baby, started another business, divorced, moved a bunch, traveled a bunch, fell in love and decided to move in together recently)… And I have seen myself find this deeper understanding and relationship with “doing nothing”.

It sure has pushed my edges and it’s made me realize a bad habit of leaving things around me as reminders to do them… I’m visual, but having all of these “little piles of reminders” was causing me stress!

What I find, is when I don’t feel wise, free, in flow and focused… It’s my body’s intuition telling me to do nothing or to declutter.

Most of my life I had been ignoring this inherent wisdom.

I have noticed that old fear coming up with resistance and loudness: “Renee, you won’t be successful if you just sit here, you are not worthy, you don’t have time to just take a walk”, etc.

Oh and by doing nothing, I don’t mean being a couch potato all day long…

Although that is sometimes fun, what I mean is that I am learning a whole other level about embracing my:

*Procrastination and listening to my intuition

*Meditation practice in newer ways

*Lounging around and reading a book time

*Random nap times

*Bubble bath time

*Healing time with herbs and oils

*Mindful eating and cooking adventures

*Tasting and senses when I’m eating and drinking

*Moments with those I love

*Listening skills and awareness practice

*Ideas around letting go and waiting

*Breathing and movements

This may seem simple for some, but if you are someone out there with a deep rooted fear around slowing down, worthiness and you feel guilty a lot and do more for others than you do for yourself, then it can be quite the task to convince yourself to just do nothing.

I had to (and I’m still evolving daily) get to the deep rooted fears of worthiness around loving myself. As my first coach told me when I hired her 15 years ago, growth is much like an onion… We are always peeling back another layer to get to the heart.

To me, it’s divine, that I am leading a movement for both men and women to love themselves naked and I’m evolving on the journey myself along with you.

I created an experience that is a group coaching course for both men and women and I’m about to launch the Beta of it.  It will run this fall for select participants and then I will open it next year permanently.

Do you know why I’m most excited about this? Because I created it for me… It was exactly what I needed to do to grow. Anytime in my past, that I created something for me and shared it with others, it’s been a huge success. This happened with my 18 Day Love Yourself Naked Challenge cleanse and Winning The Sugar Game too.

So today, I want you to practice doing absolutely nothing for a bit, maybe you start with an hour or maybe for you, it’s 5 minutes or maybe it’s a whole day.

I had a call scheduled with my girlfriend, Sacha late last year and I showed up tired, emotional and stressed.  She was feeling similar. We decided to hang up and not do the call 3-4 minutes in… It was in the middle of the afternoon. Instead, we decided to individually curl up with a blanket at our own homes and watch a movie my ourselves with that hour.

It was the best medicine and we needed it… sometimes you need community and sometimes you need to be alone so you can show up fully within community.

We couldn’t be on that call with enough energy for one another if we weren’t taking time to be with ourselves. It was also a powerful example of respecting each other.

It was an important love lesson.

Love,

Renee

Xo 

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renee__jayne

renee__jayne
Good morning ☀️ Good morning ☀️
When I look back on my life and consider the relat When I look back on my life and consider the relationships I attracted back then (that happened to be the most toxic or trauma bonded) it was for two big reasons.

1) unconscious seeking for security in things/people/sources outside of me.

Old Belief: “Once I have this, I will be safe. I will feel secure, everything will be okay”

Our security and safety come mostly from within. Certainly, more money or the next “magic pill” or quick fix or relationship can inspire some security, for a while...

It will not last or it will feel like a toxic relationship for as long as we are not Sourced in security and grounded within ourself. 

Note: we often need to look at the “bully’s, emotional abusive or passive aggressive relationships to see this. 
This could be with others or with yourself! Yes, you can “bully” yourself.

2) using things outside of me to cope due to dysregulated nervous system. (This is often not conscious to us at first)

Old belief: “once I have this it will help me “feel better”

These coping mechanisms work for a short while, until they do not anymore. 

(Food, the next “diet or workout plan”, the next shopping spree or purchase, drugs, alcohol, work, relationship, pharmaceuticals, etc)

We won’t be able to hold these things with any balance with a nervous system and emotional system that is dysregulated. 

Your nervous system is a complex network of neurons...
Basically, it’s the control center of your body!

All of your muscles, glands, sensations, smells, hearing, taste, touch, higher self are telling your body what to do.

Your nervous system is interpreting your body’s responses constantly.

We use things outside of us to try and regulate when we feel “out of balance” and sometimes those things just don’t serve us.

The crazy thing is: we will think the solution is in this “thing we need to have ASAP” and the solution we seek actually has nothing to do with “the thing”.

We’ve been taught the wrong way. 
Answers to things rarely come from outside of us.

Many of us were not taught about our nervous system and how it’s impacted by childhood trauma and how it’s the core reason we create a lot of the situations we are in (good or bad).
👇🏽👇🏽
Fantastic question....? Because big profits do no Fantastic question....?

Because big profits do not historically come from healthy people (when it comes to selling the anecdotes to their pain, anyway)

Because healthy people aren’t as easy to manipulate.

Because individuals with strong immune systems need less pharmaceuticals. This impacts Big Pharma’s profits and entire way of business.

Because mandating (I actually don’t like that word, but it works here) ... mandating vitamins and minerals would empower health and individual choice to choose health for one self.  Large corporations selling big pharmaceuticals, large amounts of sugar, fast food and factory and processed foods do not want empowered people because they are harder to sell to.
And big government structures that are run by unethical people can manipulate people who are vitamin deficient, because they get sicker more quickly.
What if your desire to get the lasting results you What if your desire to get the lasting results you’ve always wanted with your life (food, body, relationships, financial) was not about giving more attention to these things? 

What if your attention to the boring nothingness of life began to outweigh the attention you give to all the things you want right now?

Sounds silly, right?! 
Maybe backwards from what we've been taught culturally. 

We were taught to break free from life-long patterns of discontent by consuming information outside of us: learning, doing, pushing, striving.

And yet, it's not working so well, right?  At least not long-term. 

There is a place for education outside of us, yes, however, it doesn't do much for a nervous system that cannot hold the complexity of how we want to grow and evolve within that education and new wisdom.

People are trying to learn to "be still" and calm down their anxiety and maybe even meditate but their bodies cannot hold it yet. 
They struggle! 

So when your physical body and nervous system regulates...
 
Your whole game is changed as you learn to be with yourself. 
To be in your body, with your emotions and nervous system differently than you ever have before. 

Then your system can hold the capacity for the change you have always wanted. 

Make sense?

Love,
Renee 

PS. If I can help you with this radical shift in your life and you're interested in learning about The Somatic Freedom System that I created, send me a DM.
YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IS MASSIVE AND YOU CAN DREAM NE YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IS MASSIVE AND YOU CAN DREAM NEW DREAMS FOR NOT ONLY YOU, BUT FOR ALL OF HUMANITY. IMAGINE A RESPECTFUL, WIN-WIN SITUATION. CO-CREATE WITH YOUR TRIBE THE WORLD YOU DESIRE 💖
Rebirth, Adventure and Relationship 😉 Happy Ea Rebirth, Adventure and Relationship 😉

Happy Easter and Passover to all who celebrate. 
Also, important... HAPPY 4-4 BIRTHDAY to this wonderful man. 
(I know, I’m posting a day late)

After taking a purposeful and committed 2 years off of dating and romantic relationships, I opened myself up to dating last year (a 2020 version of it, 😉 ). 

During that time, a friend reached out to me and asked if he could give my phone number to a single friend of his.
I said yes. 
After a while, it felt strange to date others, so I stopped. 

Now, 7 months later and I don’t want to hide now 😉 

Meet Matt. ❤️ We are extremely compatible in all the ways and have so much fun together. Our purposes feel aligned and so does our relationship. So now you know ✨
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