I’m taking part in something called the #100dayproject where I choose a theme to practice and express creatively for 100 days. I have chosen #100creationsofselflove. Today’s writing for you is from Day 3 of my 100 days. If you want to follow along with each day, follow me on Instagram here.
What does it mean to have self love?
Some try to equate it with selfishness, huge egos or narcissism. I don’t see self love and equate it with these directly and yet there is a perspective that is important to see.
Loving yourself, in my opinion, has a lot more to do with managing our own mental health than one might think at first.
Selfishness, huge egos and narcissism are mostly based in insecurity. I used to show up that way at times too and I bet I still will in some moments because I am human, after all… The selfishness teaches that we are not holding boundaries in our relationships and life. If we feel taken advantage of or manipulated or other people’s constant anger, it’s because our boundaries aren’t healthfully in place. It turns out that we will need to change our perspective on what “selfish” really means and begin to say YES to holding boundaries with people and experiences that are not healthy for us.
That huge ego was and is a symptom of not honoring our internal voice and intuition while not doing what we say we are going to do. We begin learning that we cannot trust ourself after so many times we didn’t listen or follow through…
This leads to the narcissistic moments (I’m not talking about Narcissistic Personality Disorder here, that is different). This reminds us that we are trying to be perfect, we aren’t trusting and hence trying to control the situation versus seeing the perspectives of others.
Self love can feel messy, vulnerable, uncomfortable and hard, at first. It’s about practicing to accept yourself for both your strengths and weaknesses. What happens when you accept all of you? It feels awkward at first because guilt and self shaming have perhaps become so normalized in our culture. After awhile, self love feels like the food you have been hungry for your whole life.
Self love is about being real. How are you right now? Have you asked yourself lately? Have you listened when your instinct said to slow down or to walk away or dive in deeper?
Self love begins with a dialogue with your Self. It becomes a habit and it turns into a practice. It begins inside with creative inspiration that can be found everywhere to remind you and me to keep on looking back inside. Say thank you every time you find this creative inspiration.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you,