I was really thinking the other day about food and wondering when did it become the enemy? When did we begin to take this beautiful gift that sustains us and gives us life and turn it into something we often resent, abuse and disrespect.
Today I have 2 keys to teach you to trust yourself and the rule to follow so you know whether or not you can trust others. I’ll get to those keys in a minute, first, please know that this whole “trust” thing… well, it’s kind of – sort of imperative to that thing that many of us really want… A Healthy, Happy, Sensual Body.
(For the ambitious folks only: Your sensuality is key to loving yourself naked but loving yourself naked never comes before trusting yourself)
Food has mostly been something we enjoy within community and family and we have lovely memories attached to it going all the way back to childhood. Whether most of our food issues that we’re walking around with are conscious or not… it’s time that we make some peace with our food.
Each of our journey’s to healing our relationship with food is different. Each is a very personal experience that involves something important…
We must feel safe, comfortable and find fun and connection in a new way that we may never have experienced before. I have also found that getting our hands dirty and working hard with the food in the process can make a world of difference.
The trust that we seek is really a trusting relationship with ourself and this enemy and love-hate relationship with food and/or sugar is really about waking up to see the love-hate we may be having with ourselves.
After coaching hundreds of people and logging thousands of hours I can confidently say that most people walk around with trust issues in their relationships.
As i’m leading a group of people through Winning The Sugar Game, my new program, I’m asking people to get much more vulnerable with others about their relationship with food in our private community and I’m finding that it is different than what I’ve experienced before.
There is a different kind of courage involved with sugar and these food addiction or emotional eating topics. There is shame involved.
It’s got me thinking about my own journey and how it was close to impossible for me to be vulnerable with someone else when I was in a place where I couldn’t trust.
If we have a tough time trusting ourselves, we likely will not open up vulnerably unless we can be willing to take a chance. We can be willing to put ourselves out there.
In school, I was a cool kid. How do I know this? Well, I smoked Marlboro Lights. Didn’t all cool kids smoke?
There was something else I noticed about myself. I had friends within every clique and I spent time with people in all of them. From the “cool” to the “nerd” to the “art freak” I was a part of the crowd.
Isn’t it funny how life works with community and friends. We want to be seen and to belong and yet another part of us pulls away, rebels and wants to be the unique or odd one out.
I suppose I could say that I never quite fit in fully with any particular group but when I really get deep with myself, I know it was because I was too afraid to let anyone really see me fully. I was too afraid to open up and trust people. I feared that they might not like what they could discover… If only I knew that way back then…
Oh, and worse yet, if opened up and trusted, I might get hurt or betrayed. So what did my cool-ass self do instead? I stayed on the outskirts and I didn’t allow people in and I went and lit up another smoke with all of the other cool people.
It’s the only thing I knew how to do back then.
Some of us are still doing this now. We are the cool kids, hanging out on the sidelines with our fears, using food to comfort us instead of our smokes and we are do afraid to open up and allow people in to see us.
It’s time to stop hiding behind the foods, sugars, drinks and smokes.
So how do you trust?
The answer is that you get really picky about who you choose to open up to at first. Not everyone is capable of holding space for your open, vulnerability when you are looking to step forward and share yourself.
It’s going to be scary and you must commit to doing it, but not until you find the right person or community.
Opening your heart and letting others see you is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself and for healing your food and body issues.
You lose weight when you care more about your health and self love than you do the scale and outer appearance.
That kind of trust and heart opening can truly be a miracle.
There is something that Brene Brown said once that really stuck with me… “people have to earn the right to see your heart and they have to know when they’re seeing it that it’s an absolute honor and privilege for you to have let them in.”
If someone is judging you, they try to change you, they are talking about you behind your back the moment you walk away or they are not capable of expressing compassion or empathy when you share, then they are not someone you can trust right now. They are not capable of holding space for you at this point. It’s time to move on and find someone else.
There are two steps to learning to trust yourself and others that I want you to take right now.
Share with someone that can “hold space for you” something that scares you or that you are ashamed of right now. Be patient and choose the right community or the right person (The Love Yourself Naked Private community is INCREDIBLE at this). It’s almost like you need to prove to yourself that “other people” really do want to help you… no strings attached, no ulterior motives. They simply want to be there because they can.
Follow through on doing what you say you are going to do for the next 48 hours. You have likely been making promises to yourself for years or decades that you haven’t kept and guess what… you have learned to not trust yourself. You have taught yourself, “I don’t follow through on what i say” and because of it, you are likely angry at yourself for this and have no idea. Forgive you. Then, for 48-hours, follow through on everything you say you are going to do. If 48 hours is too long. How about starting with the next 5 hours…?
What’s your trust story? How has it been holding you back? Please share with us below. I’d love to hear your story.
Trust trees rock,
PS. “Trust Trees” are a reference from Frank in the movie “Old School”, in case you were wondering. Oh and leave me a comment below and share what holds you back from hitting your goals.
PPS. Have you checked out the free video series I created for you yet on how to increase energy, burn fat and win at sugar cravings? Click this link here.