Are your relationships filled with fun, passion, intimacy and great laughter? How is the the communication that you have with those around you?
Or are your relationships causing you stress that is negatively impacting your life?
This blog will help you with that. What I’m about to share is the #1 secret to authentic relationships and it is a life changer…
I’m going to tell you about that secret, but before I get to that, I need to tell you about my personal experience with the man and bestselling author who inspired all of that and the time we spent together. His name is Brad Blanton, PhD.
Brad is a sixty-some psychotherapist from Virginia. Upon meeting him, I cannot help but smile. He’s super friendly with a somewhat naughty grin. I relate immediately to his ability to express himself openly and we become instant buddy’s.
Brad is the author of the nationwide best selling book, Radical Honesty… the very one I have in my kindle as I speak to him. I’m fascinated by his book and by his concept of telling the truth all the time. I have questions for him and I’m also honored to be sharing a conversation with him over a drink on a fine evening in Chicago.
Renee: “Brad, what is the one thing you are most excited about in your life right now?”
Brad: “Hmmm. Well, it’s that I’m standing here talking to you and you are so darn pretty.”
Renee: {blush} “thank you so much, Brad. You know that’s not what I meant…”
(I nervously sip my wine)
Brad: “Yes, but it’s what i meant.”
{smiles}
After just 5 minutes with Brad, it is clear that he practices what he preaches.
Brad has this outrageous idea for us… he says that our world would be a much happier place if we all just stopped telling lies. He poises the question: “What would happen if we told the truth, all the time?”
He says we should toss out the filter between our brain and our mouth— bye, bye, so long… Say anything that comes up for you.
In my opinion, this is a hefty movement to start considering that most of us are walking around holding back on everything we say all the time, but it has never been more necessary.
We are holding back for fear of what others will think, feel or say back to us.
When we hold back, it creates anxiety and stress and it is literally making us sick.
We’ve found that is not only the mind, habits and limiting beliefs that need to be rewired, it’s also a heart that needs to be mended.
So how do you heal a heart that has been broken time and time again throughout your life?
You get really naked with yourself…
I want to share a story that Brad shared with me during our conversation. We found that we had a lot of common, particularly these ideas of “getting naked” and connecting with our most authentic selves.
One of Brad’s programs includes a live event where the guests are to get completely naked (literally) and stand up in front of the others and share all of the shame they have around their body and life and when they are finished they share their entire sexual history too.
Yes, while standing there completely naked. {Even my jaw dropped for a brief moment}
Each person takes a turn, standing up, sharing their hardest truths while their peers are actively listening. The guests know about this naked part before arriving. It’s really a leap of faith for them to heal.
That person standing there, is allowing someone to completely see them… not only externally but internally too. They are holding nothing back and revealing their heart. They are opening up.
The people listening are now able to empathize fully with that person in front of them. Judgement drops away (they are naked and emotionally exposed too). The audience becomes the observer of the radical honesty and they are crying, empathetic and feeling compassion for that person standing there naked in front of them.
In this trusted, intimate space, created by Brad, everyone was able to be whole and complete within themselves. Brad described this experience as life changing for the participants.
The results he shares are a deeper sense of being present in the here and NOW. A greater sense of aliveness, more creativity and deeper intimacy in relationships.
Brad’s teaching, Radical Honesty is pivotal to the Love Yourself Naked journey where our core teaching is about living authentically, radically accepting yourself and being whole.
Yes, sometimes we need to change our diets and rewire our beliefs and habits but first and foremost we must get RADICALLY HONEST with ourselves and within relationship with others.
Here are 3 takeaways from Brad’s book that I want to share with you:
1. Stress is killing us and making us sick. People can always handle honesty better than they think they can. You can spend 20 years of your life avoiding saying that “something” or you can spend 20 minutes to feel your way through. It’s the lying that is making us stressed… in other words, lying is killing us.
2. Withholding is what turns into lying. This is the small nuance that most of us miss. We often withhold stuff to “protect” the other person’s feelings. Not only can this be codependent but it can also begin the breakdown of intimacy in all relationships.
3. When I choose to be really honest and say what I experience and what I feel, I am showing that I can be trusted. This is the only kind of behavior that can bring about a response of trust. Trust is my response to a person that I know I can believe. Even if I dislike a person, I can trust him if he is honest with me.
xoxo
Renee
PS. So to be radically honest… what in the heck are you waiting for if you’ve been in pain and stuck on the fence about getting some coaching help? Take action now! I have a handful of coaching spots open right now and when it’s full, I’ll have a waiting list again. Email support@reneeheigel.com and say you want your 20 minute phone interview.
PPS. I’m hosting a free call on September 18 to tell you this program that is transforming people’s lives. Stay tuned for next weeks blog when I share the intimate details on where to meet me.
