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Renee Jayne

Monks, hard candy and winning

in Emotional & Mental Health, Featured, Health Tips, Love Yourself, Must Read, Renee's BLOG, Winning Sugar on 12/13/12

Are there moments when you find yourself thinking only about food? You are going back and forth in your head on whether or not to eat something…

Then you move into the mindset of feeling fat or recalling the moment that you didn’t work out when you said you were going to…?

Maybe you gave into eating that special treat and now you’re feeling guilty, fat, bloated and calling yourself vicious names. The internal dialogue of nastiness has become so normal you likely don’t hear it anymore.

Sound familiar?

Are you done with the struggle?

You want life to be fun and so you give up and ignore the issue only to find the guilty, cravings and thoughts about food are still sticking around the next day.

###############

Last week I wrote to you about common cravings –explaining why you crave what you crave. Read that if you haven’t yet.

This cravings concept is key to get because cravings are often emotionally connected.  Without knowing the emotions, you will never know how to focus your attention so you can change the behavior.

I’m a lot like you.

I spent years craving and giving in when white carbs, sugar, coca cola, dr. pepper, chocolate bars and potato chips were in my life.

I used to think that the problems would go away if I could just lose some weight and work out more.

Loving yourself naked.

I found a solution to food addictions, emotional eating and cravings.

It’s not just about losing weight and working out to look hot.  Yeah, ultimately you want to Love Yourself Naked… you want to feel the emotional feelings of wholeness and feel wonderful about what you see in the mirror too.

When we are in craving mode we are in a constant state of need and it’s impossible to Love Yourself Naked when you feel like you need something.

Years ago, I realized that I couldn’t keep the solutions I learned to myself because sugar, specifically was so addictive and it took a lot more than a cleanse to let it go.

Know this, letting go of cravings will help you lose weight… no doubt about that. It will also help you to really Love Yourself.

It takes a bit more than a perfect bicep curl, 50 deep squats, killer abs and drinking lots of green juice. You can do all of those things, have a kick’n body but still be a food addict who craves in an unhealthy way.

There were quite a few big paradigm shifts that woke me up to my cravings.  Today I share the first with my sugar cravings, which emotionally was an indication that I desperately needed some more purpose and sweetness in my life…

Story.

I’m a passenger in a huge van on a skinny road going up hill with hairpin turns and curves climbing to the top of the summit of Montserrat.  There are people who are car sick around me and I’m chomping away on my Big Red gum to avoid the altitude pops in my ears. I’m near Barcelona, Spain, where I’m staying and today was the day to go visit a Benedictine monastery called Montserrat.  It’s 2002 and at that time it is the home of about seventy monks.

At that time in my life, I am just waking up to the relationship I have with food and I’m at the height of my sugar addiction.  I likely spent the night before overindulging in countless glasses of sangria and I’m a little annoyed to be going to a monastery. Although Spain is pretty sweet, I can’t understand what all the fuss is about with this place, not to mention I realize at the time I have a judgment on monks.

There I said it.

At that time, I was just discovering what spirituality meant to me personally and my judgments were completely due to being naïve and not understanding. I couldn’t grasp how a monk could stay up on this mountain and not interact with others, avoid having relationships with the opposite sex and eat restrictive diets. None of it made any sense to me at the time…

This trip up to the top of this 4000-foot mountain of Montserrat turned out to be very spiritual for me and I would later realize life changing in terms of understanding my cravings and habits. I remember these moments like they were yesterday as I write this now a decade later.

2 specific moments.

First, I went into the Basilica, which is the home of the La Moreneta (Black Virgin Madonna) and I saw her holding Jesus on her lap. I remember feeling the anticipatory energy of the room while we were waiting to see Her (The Black Madonna) and I remember not feeling worthy since I never considered myself very religious. I decided to appreciate the experience anyway and to act as if, so to speak as I moved my way up the line.

I was taken aback by what I saw and as I walked up to Her. She was behind glass and her hand was sticking out through a little hole in the glass. I was told that I could kiss her hand and it was a tradition. So I did… I leaned down and kissed her hand and I recall three things that happened to me.

I became really emotional out of nowhere, completely overcome with deep sentiment and I got chills. I then immediate became aware of the candy I had put in my mouth a few minutes prior (I was always sucking on hard candy). Something inside me at that moment as I walked away from the Black Madonna told me to spit it out. I kept turning back to look at her as I walked away carrying a sticky candy in my hand.

The second moment was sitting in the abbey listening to the monks and boys choir of Montserrat sing.

I have never in my life heard something so beautiful in my ears. It is beyond words and impacting me on such a deep level. In this moment I am overcome with tears and feelings that I don’t understand. I sink back into my seat and I realized I had judged so harshly of this place, these monks, this experience. I feel remorse and I forgive myself for I see it differently now. I feel myself open up with appreciation and awe.

The music fills my soul. It was in this moment that my husband, at the time, leans over to me and recommends that I spit out the gum I am chomping away on. {He later told me that he learned that it was a sign of disrespect to chew gum in a church}

I spit it out and I was slightly annoyed at this idea and being called out but I couldn’t deny that I immediately saw a pattern as I was thinking of spitting out my candy out of the blue in front of the Black Madonna earlier that day.

I became aware of my NEED to mask my ‘use’ the candy and gum constantly.  For the remaining time, I sat there {without sugar} and I took in the sounds within that abbey and I felt pure peace.  I knew in that moment that I didn’t need the gum and candy to make me happy anymore and most importantly I was beginnig to see a belief I had created around those substances.

At the time I couldn’t have put it into words fully, but I knew enough to stop eating the candy and gum continuously for the rest of my trip throughout Spain. I decided in Spain, to figure out what it would feel like to not have those little sweet treats to rely on for my happiness.

I learned to step back and see the bigger picture of life after leaving that mountain.

I learned I could take those feelings I had captured there everywhere I went in life and that they would fulfill me far more than my Big Red gum.

#################

Honesty.

There is said to be a biological and psychological reason for every food we crave so the key is to pin point the emotion.

If you want to feel a certain way, you may begin to crave a food that you think will get you to that state of being. I’m here to tell you that you don’t need the food to get there. {This is assuming you’ve eaten a well balanced diet that day}

Gum and hard candy was what I was ‘using’ to try to bring more pleasure, satisfaction, connection and purpose into my life. I was really craving a connection to my body and to a power greater than myself. I was craving love, fun and pure sweetness.

I trained myself that the gum and candy provided those desired feelings.

The good news is you can un-train ourself, just like I did.

Without the cravings we can still find the connection, pleasure, passion, love, spirit connection, fun and satisfaction and in a much more rewarding, life-changing way.

#################

Feel it all. 

The problem we encounter is that we have become so accustom to ignoring how we are feeling that we don’t even know where to begin. We are like these cute little mice running around our lives craving something and then gobbling it right up without stopping to consider the feeling we are having first.

I have the opportunity to work with a colleague who is a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner and it’s quite amazing to see the links between ancient Chinese medicine theories about cravings and the energy of food, appetites and cravings we experience today. Nothing has really changed.

Cravings are emotional and until we stop blaming the craving on the food and make a choice to understand the emotion, we won’t be able to change the habit.

“The temptation to quit will always be the greatest right before you’re about to succeed.”  ~Chinese Proverb

I want to understand your cravings with you. Share what you are craving in the comments below and any discovery’s you’ve made about them.

Oh yeah, I’m the hostess to a really hot call on sugar cravings after the New Year and it’s complimentary.

Lots of sweet goodies that you’ll love that will fill you up much more than food will. We are going to have fun, promise! At the end, I’m going to share the details of my program called Winning The Sugar Game too.

Register here to join me and everyone else who desires to win at sugar.

Devoted to your love yourself naked journey,

Renee

xo

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renee__jayne
There is a mother within every one of us that has There is a mother within every one of us that has our back. Within you is a nurturing love that you can lean into and give yourself, as well as others. No matter your gender or if you’re a parent, you have the strength of the mother that gives birth to new worlds.

Link in my bio @renee__jayne to keep following me and my videos and writing!  By joining my email list, you’ll definitely stay connected with me.
I’m not certain on my next steps with where I will keep posting on various social platforms now. I’m not going anywhere yet. I am definitely formulating a different plan. So if you want to make sure we stay connected, sign up for my website newsletter @renee__jayne 

And remember that you are #strongasamother 💥🔥💃🏼❤️🌹🗣
I see you! How are you doing right now? I’m need I see you! How are you doing right now? I’m needing more rest these days to show up in bigger ways! Hey... that rhymed! Fortunately, rest helps me write a lot and create more. It got me thinking... 
What if we did something new, that we’ve never done before, every single day?
It could be as simple as drinking more water or calling a friend or walking outside or making a video...?
One change every day will change your whole game. I will continue to keep you posted on my experience, it is working wonderfully over here so far 😉
Humanity is not cancelled out. I’m sure of one Humanity is not cancelled out.

I’m sure of one thing now and that is change. 
Uncertain change is to be expected. 
I am not in control. 
You are not either.

As I observe the vast and sometimes terrifying range of humanity on full display right now, I feel so tempted to try to grasp for some semblance of control.

I used to have this overwhelming fear of owning my power and also of other people misusing their power over me.

This fear resulted in me trying to remain in  control.

This was a deeply embedded root within me, that I was so unaware was planted at the time. 
I learned of it because I kept living through examples where I was giving my power away. 

I was losing myself in things, people or grandiose story lines (both true and false).

I was under an illusion of control. I was not at all at the steering wheel of my own life.

I wouldn’t express myself clearly.
I was looking for safety and security and “love” in all the wrong places.
I was attracting relationships from a fear of wanting to be liked, validated or accepted.

I did not know how to source my own core sense of safety and trust myself.
I did not have self authority or sovereignty from within.
I did not know how to love myself.

I was addicted to bullying and criticism and shaming of myself. It is where I went to any chance I got... I would storm in on myself with rage and anger.

This suppressed rage ultimately looked like addictive behavior for me... mostly with work, food, people, situations, substances or anything that helped give me a false illusion of momentary control.

This unhealthy place was the most vulnerable, painful place to be in for me because I had to take self responsibility.

I didn’t like what I saw going on “out there” and it was disruptive to my life and others lives and I had no real power to change much without facing myself.

I had to look in the mirror!
It is a choice we can look in at anytime.
What can I learn from this?

Humanity is holding up a mirror to us as individuals now.

Continued below in comments or see FB link in my bio @renee__jayne for Full Post
I'm outta here! If you need me, I will be in the m I'm outta here! If you need me, I will be in the mountains unplugging, loving, resting, recharging and rejuvenating. I will see you in the New Year FB family. Below is something I want to share with you for now. ❤
*********
^^^^^^^^^
Thank you for being in my world, I am so unbelievably grateful to be in yours.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year, Happy Life!

2020 sure has put things into perspective and directly impacted the very primal and core wounds within us that needed security and to feel safe.

No doubt it tested you in ways you never saw coming.

You were likely forced to face some of your deepest fears this year that eventually invited you to live in uncertainty.

For some, many wonderful experiences also occurred in unexpected ways.

Although, not always pleasant, 2020 was a very powerful spiritual teaching year.

I have often said to my clients over the years, "in my experience, this (emotional, mental, spiritual and physical) healing work is no joke, it's not always easy and light. It's deep shit at times and the hardest work you'll ever do while also being the most rewarding!".

We were forced into it and because of that, I have seen people rise up and open up in ways that are miraculous.

As we go into this new year, I invite you to sit with the miraculous human that is YOU.

On this day, I want to give you full on permission (although you don't even need it from me) to be human.

What this means is that you have permission to honor the human within you that has made mistakes.

You can also honor the human within you that has witnessed miracles or tiny shifts in perception that have created change in your life.

You can show up exactly as you are, flawed or in your most beautiful form.

You can be free.

As a culture that has been divorced from our bodies and biological needs for so long, we have been at war within ourselves.

Now, moving forward from this year, it has invited us to connect with our humanity in a different way while stepping into our highest self and intuition.

In order to trust ourself and that innate intuition we must master our physical connection to this body that we have been given.

Continued 👇
I’m continuing my commitment to creating and bu I’m continuing my
commitment
to creating 
and building 
a space 
for people 
to shift 
energetically and physically 
and 
love themselves.
I’m 
practicing 
loving me 
along the way 
too.
What 
are you 
up to?
What are your dreams for this next chapter?
Share below and claim it.
You can create change in your external reality by You can create change in your external reality by adding shocking and new sensations to your tastebuds and internal body.

➡️Mango, mint, pineapple, cayenne, salt, avocado and almond milk.
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