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Renee Jayne

How do you measure your happiness?

in Emotional & Mental Health, Love Yourself, Love Yourself Naked, Naked Nutrition, Relationships, Renee's BLOG on 05/25/16

268H (1)

Hey there! It sure has been an interesting week. I’ve been growing much wiser lately. Forced to grow and also willing. How about you?

Today I want to share this new truth that came to me. I sprinted to my computer to write it down.

I hope it will hit home for you.

Read on, if you’re curious.

It is a mistake to ONLY FOCUS your attention on what you can measure: Calories,  your body ’weight’, your carbon footprint, the size of your ass, followers on social media, the dollars in your bank account, the number of shoes you own or the accolades you have received.

Sure, these all serve a purpose, I like the good life too.  When performance is measured, it usually improves.

What if we didn’t place so much value on the measured items though. What if we did the opposite of what our culture likes and placed more value on things that you cannot measure… like love, passion and self esteem.  (This is actually being done in over 40 countries, they call in Gross National Happiness – GNH)

I went to the doctor yesterday. The nurse weighed me. I haven’t seen that measurement since I was at the doctor last. I do not give any meaning to that number and it has no value to my life.  

During the conversations I have with clients, I notice that the body weight number(and many other numbers) are often the measurement they are paying the most attention to.

The problem I see is actually not the measuring tools or the fact that they are measured, but instead the actual things we measure. As Chip Conley shares in his TED Talk, it’s not the tools that are the issue, it’s the toolbox.  

When too much of our attention is on the tangible, bottom stuff on the Maslow Pyramid (safety and physiological), then we are forgetting about the biggest percentage of needs that are intangible and cannot be easily measured.

At the doctor,  I was asked about my life. I was asked how I felt. The doctor wanted to know about my whole person. I told the doc my instinct about my gall bladder needing some flushing. He put his hands on the gallbladder and felt it and new to spend time working on getting it to move.  That doctor spent time with me and I felt completely seen and heard. I felt empowered by my own health and body.

This has an enormous value to me, but you cannot easily measure it.

Many people argue with me on this or they say things like, “well if you did not like your weight, you would pay attention to the number on the scale”.

The biggest impact a person makes will not be measured.

For the record, I’ve met some really joyful, purposeful people who happen to be overweight and I’ve also met some depressed and mean skinny people. I’ve met healthy jerks and I’ve met unhealthy angels.

Don’t you think we are placing a little too much value on the measured results and not enough on the intangible aspects of our esteem, love and conscious choices in life?

For example, we cannot measure the impact that Prince has had on our culture. It isn’t just about the record sales. He was more than that.

That family member who has passed away, that impacted you so deeply, they are not remembered for anything you an measure, they had depth and soul.

So do you.

Again, it’s about the intangible things that we cannot measure.

We are all human and incredibly unique and interesting.

How can you measure something that you cannot touch, or see rise or fall. How can you put a number on how much love or joy or passion someone has. All humans are so unique. You just cannot use science to measure everything. Although, i bet we will try and that’s pretty awesome too.

One of my incredible clients, Dinah, said it best:

dinah-banner

 

“Renee, has made some permanent changes in me that I can’t even put a price on it. Thinking about how important it is to be purposeful with my thoughts and how important it is to speak up and to have my voice. Just so many things. I don’t even think you can put a dollar value on it when you look back, how do you even ever put a dollar value on something that made you a wiser, happier, freer person? How do you? It’s like somebody comes along and let’s you out of your… Unties you from the chair you are bound to”   – Dinah Carter


Focus on growing the intangible.

Remember to ALSO grow the things that you cannot measure. How will you know?

Well you will learn to trust your intuition and then you’ll just know. Trust me.

 

Talk soon,

Renee

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✨What if we changed our relationship to consumpt ✨What if we changed our relationship to consumption?✨

For anyone who can hear this today and needs the reminder:
Even though there is an enormous amount of external chaos now in our world and systems, going inward and looking at your own personal opportunities to grow is extremely important now.
Especially now you will need more space.

Try not take take other people personally, they need space too.

When things are louder “out there” and there is so much uncertainty, it’s a cue to slow down, tune in to your internal voice and get clear on what you need right now.

Clear away all the noise so you can hear yourself.
Be in nature.
Create the quiet space you need so new habits and commitments can be developed.

It’s not that we won’t be tempted away to distraction. 
We will be, we’re human after all.

It’s not that we would ignore the external loud chatter completely or be naive to important issues that align with our values.

Instead we can be allowing the media wave to float along like a river away from you or next to you.
You don’t need to be “in it or of it”.
What if we changed our relationship to consumption?
We stopped becoming so attached to the latest sound byte... we just allow it to float along...

We focused on creating the new instead.

You are safe.
We are safe.
Stay grounded and centered in yourself in any way you can knowing that truth.
It is safe to relax into your quiet moments.

It’s time to choose to settle into your nervous system differently in the midst of the chaos.

If you need help or support, send me a DM. 

Love to all,
Renee
In order to love ourself, we must learn to LIKE ou In order to love ourself, we must learn to LIKE ourself first. We can choose to be accepting and our own best friend first. 
You don’t fall in love until you like a person first...
How are you being a friend to YOU?? 

Right now, the external chaos is going to reflect back to us how we are choosing to “like ourself” in our darkest moments and through these life experiences we are having and witnessing.

Loving ourself fully and deeply with trust and acceptance has never been more important.

In my experience, loving me is a practice every single day (sometimes every moment) and it happens when I choose to like me first.

I need to know i got a friend in me, that I will have my own back, so to speak... whether I am in bliss and joy or in pain or self sabotage. 

I realize more and more that when I’m not living my highest truth creatively, it’s more challenging to like myself. 

I believe at the end of the day, every person wants to feel that they contributed something of value and that they genuinely like themself.... ideally love themself!

Cheers to new beginnings. 

DM me a note if I can be of service on your holistic wellness and emotional mastery to Love You.
-Renee ❤️ #loveyourselfnaked
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There is a mother within every one of us that has There is a mother within every one of us that has our back. Within you is a nurturing love that you can lean into and give yourself, as well as others. No matter your gender or if you’re a parent, you have the strength of the mother that gives birth to new worlds.

Link in my bio @renee__jayne to keep following me and my videos and writing!  By joining my email list, you’ll definitely stay connected with me.
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And remember that you are #strongasamother 💥🔥💃🏼❤️🌹🗣
I see you! How are you doing right now? I’m need I see you! How are you doing right now? I’m needing more rest these days to show up in bigger ways! Hey... that rhymed! Fortunately, rest helps me write a lot and create more. It got me thinking... 
What if we did something new, that we’ve never done before, every single day?
It could be as simple as drinking more water or calling a friend or walking outside or making a video...?
One change every day will change your whole game. I will continue to keep you posted on my experience, it is working wonderfully over here so far 😉
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