That phone call. That conversation. That bill or that meeting. You’ve been putting off the project for days now, and although you want to do it on some level… you still put it off.
No, this is not a message about your calls, bills, and meetings, and on why you are procrastinating and avoiding. (Shhhh. I do that too sometimes. Don’t tell.)
This is a message on the root of all of that stuff.
It’s not just about guilt either, although it is certainly getting closer to the problem.
Don’t worry, we’ll get to the root.
I’ll share with you why forgiveness changes everything in your body, helps you let pounds go and relationships heal. I will share with you why forgiving completely changes the cells in your body.
Full disclosure – I have to get a little geeky with you in order to share this.
Do I have permission to do that with you today?
You see, this is so important to your health, and I want to share this in a way that you can grasp it and utilize it in your everyday routine.
I want this to change your life.
Okay, so we’ll get there, but first let’s talk…
That guilt is a pain in the a$$, isn’t it?
The crazy thing about guilt is that it’s often unconscious. (You often don’t even realize it is happening in the moment.)
So imagine a moment right now. Let your brain drift… an uncomfortable moment with someone in your life (mom, dad, boss, neighbor, spouse, child, friend, store clerk).
Okay. Do you have the moment?
Good. So here you are having this unloving encounter with someone. It doesn’t feel good. You are bothered it is happening and it’s bringing up emotions like pain, anger, and frustration.
It is within THIS moment that you are dealing with YOUR guilt.
What this also means is that you are seeing yourself in others. Always. (No exceptions to this rule.)
Other people are always a mirror reflecting back to us what we need to heal, learn, live, etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I really like to hang out with people who lift me up and are positive… I don’t seek out uncomfortable relationships.
But… when they happen, I immediately know that it is an opportunity for me to deal with some good old guilt and to look at my sh!t (negative behaviors).
You might know where this is going…
We avoid and we don’t have the conversations we need to. We don’t speak up for what we want. We bury down pain and expect other people to figure out what is wrong with us. We wish and hope things will get magically better while we hide and then eventually stuff down our feelings.
You know what happens next… our cells literally get burdened with this. Our body goes into stressed out, insecure, worried, and depressed mode.
Our body is incredibly brilliant. So it does it’s job… it stores fat. Because fat keeps us safe.
Guilt is usually pretty deep. That root goes down super far. So if you look around you and discover that your relationships are kind of uncomfortable, you need to know that you attracted those because of your guilt.
This doesn’t make you bad. Au contraire! It gives you a chance to heal.
fat = anger
fat around your belly = anger at being denied nourishment (and not just from food)
fat around your arms = anger at being denied love
fat around your hips = lumps of stubborn anger at the parents
fat around your thighs = packed childhood anger (often rage at the father)
(Source: Louise L. Hay)
Yeah… that’s pretty deep, isn’t it?
Does it hit home a little?
I remember one of my coaches sent me a couple of questions years ago. The question that stumped me most was, “Do you hold any guilt or shame, and if so, what for?”
I didn’t have an answer. In fact, I responded to her a big fat “No.”
Nope, not me. I’m all good… all healed.
No matter what we pretend, we feel guilty and ashamed.
It’s a universal truth that everyone holds some guilt and shame. Just accept that.
But we don’t have to stay that way. We can change it.
Guilt is often comfortable. It’s almost like we carry it around like a badge of honor, holding it close to our heart like a soft, lost puppy.
We want to cuddle it (the guilt) like we earned it!
Let me tell you… you didn’t earn it!
You actually created it, and it’s making you sick, fat, and unhealthy.
Brace yourself… Here comes the geeky stuff.
Fact: An atom is composed of 99.99 percent space. Since matter is composed entirely of atoms, matter must also be composed of 99.99 percent space.
So, just like that couch, metal beam, wall, or desk near you (also 99.99 percent space)…
…YOU are 99.99 percent space too.
This is called your subtle body and I won’t get into that too deeply today… But, what I want you to take away from this, is that your body is all energy.
The body is constantly renewing itself. The cells in your body are constantly changing and those cells are not the same today as they were 1 year ago.
Fat gets stored in your cells.
Emotions are stored in your cells.
You are changing your cells constantly.
One of the main reasons we stay stuck, sick, and fat, is that we continue to hold on to the emotional guilt. Our body and cells remember it.
Here is what I’ve learned from my life.
Forgive. Forgive and when you are done, forgive some more.
We have to recognize the guilt and judgement is mostly against ourselves.
So forgive that person and parent. But mostly… forgive you.
You already know that forgiveness is a gift to yourself, right?
When I work with a client privately we spend a great deal of time with nutrition and food, as any health coach would, but it is so much deeper than that. Here is the path I guide them through. (It’s really powerful so take notes.)
They tell their story (while I listen fully).
They feel it all (authentically).
We look at their beliefs (that are usually false beliefs).
We reframe the story.
We talk about how it is working in their lives now and practice gratitude.
You learn to forgive.
You learn a new way of walking in the world (and you practice).
“We are afraid of either failure or success. If we’re closer to success, we’ll fear success. If we’re closer to failure, we’ll fear failure. The issue isn’t success or failure. The issue is the presence of fear, and it’s inevitability wherever love is absent” ~ACIM
A very wise man recently wrote a blog post about avoiding fear by indulging in our fear of fear. It’s worth a read.
My last request for you today: take action. Most of us get stuck where we are, NOT because doing something will make us unsafe or insecure or we are worried about failing. We actually find that “stuck place” comfy… like our favorite pajama’s. We are so used to it.
Take action by breathing into your pain, anger, fear. Slowing down to listen and feel all of those things.
Dance in it… literally, dance.
Comment below and and share with me your thoughts. I have a waiting list for coaching right now but I am doing some private one on one sessions to schedule for the months ahead.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org if one of those spots has your name on it.
(I know it feels a little uncomfortable… that is how you know it’s working)
Let your light shine today!
PS. I want to hear from you, share below and let’s chat.