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Renee Jayne

Holding Each Other

in Uncategorized on 02/10/20

I found out yesterday that some of the women within my 6 month group course did something unforeseen. I felt it was worth sharing here.

The backstory: within our 6 months together, yesterday was the first day where the group does a whole food lymphatic cleanse together. The group centers on emotional wellbeing/regulation and somatic healing and nutrition/holistic health.

One woman was going to work where she knew there would be pizza and treats (this happens to so many with those work time snacks).
The rest of the women knew her situation well.

She was afraid of succumbing to the carbohydrate and sweet tooth ways that brought her to this program to begin with.

These women have learned that it’s about so much more than the food. They showed up here because they knew they needed more healthy emotional intimacy and trust with themself and other women (and men).

So these women gathered together in support of their sister and they planned a “virtual lunch” together.
They gathered virtually at lunch. How incredible!

She didn’t eat the pizza. And that is great, but not the entire point.

The point is two big things we often miss:

1) She knew she would have been held either way (pizza or no pizza)
2) She opened to RECEIVE being held and loved by another.

It’s this level of trust and receiving that changes us and our relationship with food and our body… combined with healthy foods.

What isn’t often talked about is how hard we need to work sometimes to learn to RECEIVE being HELD by another.

We so easily give, give and give and yet have no idea how to receive what we give.

This is a problem and the consequence to that problem usually looks like numbing out in a tub of ice cream, chocolate or bags of chips.

If we were raised not trusting, the very thing we desire most (trust) is the thing we also fear the most.

Oh boy is that a conundrum.
And one, that I’m well versed in personally and professionally.

Community is a big part of what shifts it, along with having someone guide you on how to open up.

On a side note, I am so grateful for being able to witness humans in these ways and in this life.
It is truly the biggest blessing. Thank you, thank you.

Who can you hold space for today?
Who can you reach out to and check in on today?
How can you put yourself out there (albeit vulnerably) to a trusted friend and ask for help… and then RECEIVE IT.

Reach out here if I can be a support to you.

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It doesn’t matter who you are, all humans are gr It doesn’t matter who you are, all humans are growing in their capacity with emotional health right now. 

How are you feeling right now? 

👉🏽(Share briefly below and honor the realness of what you feel in this moment)

🤙🏽 We will either continue to distract from the feels or we will honor they exist and transmute the energy of those strong feelings into something we can take action on.
Simple + tasty. My 11 year old son chose this one Simple + tasty. My 11 year old son chose this one today. ☀️ 

Frozen mango.

Homemade muesli:
Organic oats, pastured butter, chopped nuts (cashew, macadamia, almond, pistachio), sunflower and pumpkin seeds, raisins, raw honey, sea salt, garlic salt, cinnamon, rosemary.
Good morning ☀️ Good morning ☀️
When I look back on my life and consider the relat When I look back on my life and consider the relationships I attracted back then (that happened to be the most toxic or trauma bonded) it was for two big reasons.

1) unconscious seeking for security in things/people/sources outside of me.

Old Belief: “Once I have this, I will be safe. I will feel secure, everything will be okay”

Our security and safety come mostly from within. Certainly, more money or the next “magic pill” or quick fix or relationship can inspire some security, for a while...

It will not last or it will feel like a toxic relationship for as long as we are not Sourced in security and grounded within ourself. 

Note: we often need to look at the “bully’s, emotional abusive or passive aggressive relationships to see this. 
This could be with others or with yourself! Yes, you can “bully” yourself.

2) using things outside of me to cope due to dysregulated nervous system. (This is often not conscious to us at first)

Old belief: “once I have this it will help me “feel better”

These coping mechanisms work for a short while, until they do not anymore. 

(Food, the next “diet or workout plan”, the next shopping spree or purchase, drugs, alcohol, work, relationship, pharmaceuticals, etc)

We won’t be able to hold these things with any balance with a nervous system and emotional system that is dysregulated. 

Your nervous system is a complex network of neurons...
Basically, it’s the control center of your body!

All of your muscles, glands, sensations, smells, hearing, taste, touch, higher self are telling your body what to do.

Your nervous system is interpreting your body’s responses constantly.

We use things outside of us to try and regulate when we feel “out of balance” and sometimes those things just don’t serve us.

The crazy thing is: we will think the solution is in this “thing we need to have ASAP” and the solution we seek actually has nothing to do with “the thing”.

We’ve been taught the wrong way. 
Answers to things rarely come from outside of us.

Many of us were not taught about our nervous system and how it’s impacted by childhood trauma and how it’s the core reason we create a lot of the situations we are in (good or bad).
👇🏽👇🏽
Fantastic question....? Because big profits do no Fantastic question....?

Because big profits do not historically come from healthy people (when it comes to selling the anecdotes to their pain, anyway)

Because healthy people aren’t as easy to manipulate.

Because individuals with strong immune systems need less pharmaceuticals. This impacts Big Pharma’s profits and entire way of business.

Because mandating (I actually don’t like that word, but it works here) ... mandating vitamins and minerals would empower health and individual choice to choose health for one self.  Large corporations selling big pharmaceuticals, large amounts of sugar, fast food and factory and processed foods do not want empowered people because they are harder to sell to.
And big government structures that are run by unethical people can manipulate people who are vitamin deficient, because they get sicker more quickly.
What if your desire to get the lasting results you What if your desire to get the lasting results you’ve always wanted with your life (food, body, relationships, financial) was not about giving more attention to these things? 

What if your attention to the boring nothingness of life began to outweigh the attention you give to all the things you want right now?

Sounds silly, right?! 
Maybe backwards from what we've been taught culturally. 

We were taught to break free from life-long patterns of discontent by consuming information outside of us: learning, doing, pushing, striving.

And yet, it's not working so well, right?  At least not long-term. 

There is a place for education outside of us, yes, however, it doesn't do much for a nervous system that cannot hold the complexity of how we want to grow and evolve within that education and new wisdom.

People are trying to learn to "be still" and calm down their anxiety and maybe even meditate but their bodies cannot hold it yet. 
They struggle! 

So when your physical body and nervous system regulates...
 
Your whole game is changed as you learn to be with yourself. 
To be in your body, with your emotions and nervous system differently than you ever have before. 

Then your system can hold the capacity for the change you have always wanted. 

Make sense?

Love,
Renee 

PS. If I can help you with this radical shift in your life and you're interested in learning about The Somatic Freedom System that I created, send me a DM.
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