I am a writer, but now I have a loss for the right words, so this is pretty raw.
Here is my story.
My man showed up to my home (we live in different states) in major pain this past week. He’s a cancer survivor so although it looks as though his pain was a kidney infection, I was scared… terrified of cancer coming back. To be honest, I’m completely in love with him and he is also completely addicted to sugar… Sugar feeds cancer… not a good combo.
The next day, I showed up to my video shoot for my new up and coming program, Winning The Sugar Game… enthusiastic and well-prepared to shoot the remaining videos. Moments after I arrived and we were testing the lighting, the camera man tripped on a large light that wasn’t strapped down properly and it fell right into my face.
On my face, I ended up with a huge cut that needed to be glued back together, a large bump the size of a golf ball, 2 semi bruised eyes and a concussion. AND… no videos…
And then 10 hours later I found out that my friend, Stanzi Allan Pouthier died, she was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago. She is the beauty on the left side above, along with me and our friend Maureen.
I feel shaken up and wrung out.
I feel broken and yet opened.
I feel angry and yet grateful.
I feel like crying. Wait, I am crying…
I am smiling because I know an angel has kissed me with blessings.
It took me a bit to see the blessings part… Tears, anger, depressed moments, more anger.
Stanzi was someone I would go to if I had nutrition questions. She was incredibly wise. I was asking myself, how in the hell can someone so healthy get cancer?
Then I remembered a conversation with Stanzi where she told me that she knows now that she wasn’t feeling her feelings fully, she had forgot about herself, her creativity and passions. She forgot how to be in her body. That this cancer was a wake up call for her. It was a call to action. She said to me, “now I see what all of this Love Yourself Naked stuff is that you keep talking about, Renee.”
There was this moment when I thought that I couldn’t write about Stanzi, the emotions of my week and promote my cleanse to you at the same time… I was scared of being judged by you.
Yeah… this message was supposed to be about my cleansing journey as the program opens on Sunday.
But then, I realized that cancer was a SMACK in Stanzi’s face and she showed up with grace, determination and immense courage in spite of it all.
I am so incredibly inspired by her.
Here is the thing though, do we all have to be HIT in the face or HIT with cancer to wake up to BEING IN OUR BODIES?
We don’t have to wait until we are incredible pain before we do something.
And then I had an epiphany. … you know, Renee, you might need to do your own Love Yourself Naked Challenge! Clearly, I created this cleanse. It is transformational. I’ve done my own cleanse so many times before…
But I had to listen to the universe… the impact from me being literally hit in the face was a SCREAM… it said WAKE UP Renee!
What are the areas where you need to peel back more veils to love yourself naked even more deeply. How can you be nourishing yourself even more? How are you expressing your creativity. How are you loving yourself right now?
I also saw so clearly that I can celebrate Stanzi and I can honor her LEGACY by living my life within my body fully. It’s the only way I know how to cope with the loss of a friend in this moment… to learn from her and let her inspire me.
Allowing me to open up even deeper within relationship to myself… and even more so with my son, Manny, my man and my family, friends and you, .
So I decided to be fully ALL-IN and cleanse right along with my cleansers this time. It’s not that I don’t cleanse, but this time around feels so different… it’s inspired by Stanzi’s vitality. It’s for life and love. It’s for ME. I choose me.
My man is participating too. He is ready to repent against his sugar addiction and I’m so proud of him.
And I’m inspired by some other actions as well. My Love Yourself Naked journey is always evolving. I wrote below about those evolutions and I also included a quote from Stanzi.
I hope they inspire you in your life.
If you want to cleanse with us, I’ve discounted the 18 Day Love Yourself Naked Challenge Cleanse to only $97 (normally $247).
We begin on Sunday with the Challenge and the cleanse begins 5 days in, so you’ll have plenty of time to prepare. Details are here.
An ode to Nakedness and Vitality.
When you meet someone for the first time, it is sacred. Hug them like you’ve never hugged another human being before.
Life is meant to be LIVED fully and completely. Look for beauty in everything, all the time.
Be present with my son, Manny. Look him deeply in the eye. See him, play with him, love him, hug him, kiss him.
Feelings are meant to be felt deeply. Take time to feel them. No pushing them away.
Body’s are meant to thrive and breathe. Celebrate your body, make time for creativity and passion.
Breathe and exercise. Spend time outdoors as often as possible.
We were born to love. Find reasons to love and forgive. Love does set you free.
Eat meals that give you vitality and healing.
We were given these beautiful mouths to not only eat but to smile and to speak our truths. Express what you want and feel. Make it your goal to smile at those you see before you.
Here is a little something Stanzi wrote before she moved on to rest her soul.
“…..But the call this morning was my wake up call. I want to stick around in this body for quite a while, so I’d better get healing instead of wasting away. I’m afraid of suffering, but isn’t that what I’m doing??? I’m suffering!!! Its time to turn the volume up again. Its time to turn it up REALLY high!
So I picked myself up, looked in the mirror and realized that this is my pivotal moment. Right now. The only one who can help me get better…is me. While the medicines and therapies are there to assist me in healing, I know the healing comes from a much deeper place. I’ve got to WANT to heal. I’ve got to WANT to get up in the mornings and live each day, not just look out the window to see what a beautiful day it is outside.
I’ve got to LIVE. I’ve got to fully LOVE my life. I’ve been sitting here in my bed waiting. Waiting for life to begin…or end…I’m not even sure which. But now its time to fall in love. With myself, my husband, my children, my life. Because Love feels so damn good. And Love feels so right. Love feels magical. Love heals.
I bow to you in grace and divine love.” -Stanzi
P.S. Will you join me and my man in the journey to Love Yourself Naked?
Click here and scroll down to the big orange button to register for the cleanse.
P.P.S. I will be donating a portion of proceeds from this cleanse to Team Stanzi to help out financially with her medical expenses and in the full time nanny care needed for her two young boys.