(and no, it’s not the pain of the tattoo I just got –pictured right)
I’ll get to that in a moment.
I’m talk’n about the drown your sorrows in chocolate syrup on a spoon pain (hell, maybe you pour it right on your tongue??)
How about the face that smiles so others see you are happy but inside you are crying and dying.
How about the drugged up pain… Taking so many anti-depressants, meds, smoking pot and drinking alcohol that you’re literally a walking shell. You know it, but you’re afraid there isn’t any other way.
The binging on food pain… Gorging yourself and eating and eating until you are so full and sick. Feeling guilty and shitty and then asking why you even bother… And then doing it again. It’s a vicious cycle.
How about the ‘bury yourself in work pain’ so I don’t have to think about “him” or “her”.
Or the pain of getting dressed in the morning, not fitting into those clothes stuffed in the corner that you love and then avoiding the mirror.
The pain of not getting pregnant after trying and trying.
The pain of wondering whether or not he (or she) is going to one day leave you.
The pain of not wanting to come home to your family after a long day when you know you “should” want to, but today you just don’t…
I’ve wanted to write about PAIN for weeks and I couldn’t do it. I knew the concept I needed to share with you, but the words wouldn’t flow for me.
I later realized that I had to release some pain myself…
I found some buried anger recently. A great friend helped me see it and I was reluctant… almost kicking and screaming.
Well, actually not almost, that’s not really true…
I let myself feel it fully and to be brutally honest… I beat the sh!t out of my bed… Pounded my fists into pillows over and over and over until I yelled and screamed and cried.
My nails gripped so hard into my hands, I drew blood.
(Before you think I’ve lost it – I haven’t)
Listen to this.
When you were young, you could take the pain by yourself. You didn’t need a coach or a self-help book. Your body could take it even when it was really hard and sometimes your parents would come in to help you endure it. And…
Sometimes they didn’t.
In fact, sometimes they were not there at all. So you know what happened next…?
You learned some ways to numb the pain. You didn’t realize what you were doing then, but now you have a choice and you can see a bit more clearly. The clouds have parted for you as you are reading this note from me.
I realized that I wasn’t always feeling all of my pain fully…
And I have a feeling you do the same because you fear:
- You can’t handle it and you might completely lose it.
- You don’t want to annoy people with your sob story and then you will be abandoned by everyone.
- Showing pain is weak and everyone will turn away from you and stop respecting you.
- It’s way too vulnerable for you and you don’t want to let go of control (this was big for me)
- There is no point to all of this. I’d rather keep it to myself because it won’t help anyway.
The bullets above are not true. In order to move out of these beliefs that you’ve convinced yourself of since childhood, you must be willing to test them and see what’s on the other side and prove them right or wrong.
You also must be willing to let go of the stuff that you use to numb the pain (the chocolate, sugar, alcohol, people, controlling behavior)
My lesson is this… I didn’t explode or catch fire when I felt the pain and anger.
Now I did hurt my mattress a bit.
I also had a couple of friends and my dad support me by listening to me and most importantly, I was willing to open up to them.
Note. The anger I had wasn’t about a life altering thing, but keeping it inside is life altering.
I realized a pattern of playing the role of strong woman, mom, entrepreneur who is so positive and she will just look on the bright side and take care of it.
Well guess what… sometimes we need to get freak’n angry, cry and punch stuff. That makes us human and anger is unbelievably healthy!
I feel incredible now. By the way, I’m ready for more whenever it comes in the future too… Because it will and I want to feel it all.
Yes, There will be pain. No going over it or around it or under. You must go through it.
How you go through that pain is your choice.
What you are going to realize is that you didn’t die from feeling it… you will see that you’ll actually feel better and gain the most important strength from it.
I feel strong enough to scale a mountain right now (not kidding).
So I just created the structure to take Love Yourself Naked programs to the masses. There are new life changing tools and programs coming your way.
I’m sick of seeing most people walk around in pain and pretending to be happy.
Happy… Truly happy is real and accessible to everyone. Happy isn’t determined by your external circumstances.
It is a choice. I know, easier said than done because you may be ignoring the fine qualities of your character that make you incredible.
Since now you won’t be burying pain any longer, I want you to know…
In the weeks ahead, I’m going to answer this phenomenon on how to be truly happy in your body and life.
I’m totally committed to this idea of health and happy and presence… of LOVE YOURSELF NAKED. I believe they are all connected to you being able to live in the moments of your life…
I’m so committed I tattooed this vision and my purpose on my left wrist. (I could write a whole blog about the tattoo meaning… I’ll save that for a future date)
In the meantime, I want to share a video from a man I deeply respect and can relate to fully (it wasn’t always that way… I used to fear him and think he was a bit odd)
Now, I want to have tea with him and contemplate life’s questions.
(I know, I’m a bit of a nerd)
He’s Eckhart Tolle.
I love his humor in this quick 4 minute clip and Eckhart gives a very nice description of the meaning of my tattoo.
Eckhart Tolle: Consciousness Is Now
See you next week and please comment below. I want to know about your pain. Outing it helps take it away, so share.
PS. There is an early bird list for a program starting in July that I am chomping at the bit to share. I want to climb a mountain right now and share it with the world… My team is making me wait a week though.
I’ll make you a video about it all for you to view next week. Stay tuned.