Featured
Are you silently grieving?
I’ve been speaking with people in the last 24 hours, I get the impression that many people are silently grieving.
Are you one of them?
Many of us are struggling with human intimacy and connection right now… we may be afraid to see others (and even ourselves) in a new light. For many we might feel completely shut down and even numb. And for others we feel unsafe, not only in our own body but in the light of tragic events and devastation all over the world – we feel less safe in general.
You might act like everything is “fine”. But inside, no one know’s how bad you’re doing.
There is a decision we make, to shut people off, close off intimacy and hide. This decision comes for survival-mode. It happens when horrible, traumatic things happen in the world and it happens in our day to day life when we get “triggered” by things that remind us of childhood trauma.
It’s the woman who feels depressed, lonely and shameful for numbing out with food last night, but the next day when she is with friends or at work she is telling stories about all of the good things happening. She is avoiding the entire picture of her reality.
She is silently grieving and it is slowly eating her alive.
Withholding distorts our reality. Soon we compartmentalize and begin to live a double life. The one we know in the quiet corners of our thoughts and the one everyone else sees.
This is how I felt within my 9 year marriage, that ended over 5 years ago. I didn’t feel connected and I blamed myself. I felt shame that it was my problem. Maybe something was wrong with me. Maybe, something everything that was wrong was my fault…
So I made little decisions, every day, mostly unconscious that I was doing it, to hide my unhappiness and loneliness. I vowed to figure it out myself. I did the personal development work, I tried to change my thoughts. I did the stuff my coaches said and “focused on the positive”. I changed my food and nutrition.
And years later, nothing helped. Things were the same and probably worse.
I had completely lost touch with my feelings and emotions and I hid this from most everyone – even myself. I got lost in another persons dreams, ideas and visions. I lost myself and didn’t know how to feel anymore. I didn’t feel like I was lying or intentionally hiding, because I didn’t know any different, but in reality I was living like everything was “just fine”. In reality, everything was not fine, in fact, it wasn’t good at all.
I’m sharing this with you because transformation often requires that we separate our emotional selves from our rational minds.
And the problem is that so many of us, have not been taught how to connect to our emotional self.
Even though I had my food and nutrition figured out and this positive mind and the best coaches helping with it, everything still fell apart because I had NO idea how to get in touch with my emotions and feelings.
If you want to change your life, you must have the formula of growing yourself with your:
1) Feelings
2) Food
3) Thoughts
You must have ALL 3 of these or you will keep spinning in circles and hiding, just like I was.
By the way, your spirituality is the undercurrent of all 3 of these, however without your feelings, food and thoughts in alignment, your spirituality will be used as a mission to prove yourself.
We start with “food” first and we begin soon. There are only a few days left to get access to a quick breakthrough call with me to be a part of Love Your Life Academy.
Have the courage to say yes to an opportunity to have a breakthrough.
Love,
PS. If you haven’t already, I’m inviting you to join me on this “90 Days To Freedom” Workshop right now. It’s available for just 48 hours. Click here to listen to the the 90 Days To Freedom Workshop right now. Oh and let me know what you think below. I’d love to hear from you.
Learning authenticity + my name change
I want to share a bit of my personal story and the pilgrimage of learning authenticity. I hope it inspires you to live more authentic in your life. Living authentically has inspired me to change my last name for my business. My new name is Renee Jayne. Renee Heigel no longer felt real for me.
If you want to know the why behind it all, keep reading.
My purpose here is to guide people to their own empowerment and truth of who they deserve to be. Authenticity is an important part of that empowerment and truth. So if you are someone who has areas of your life where you do not feel real or where your energy is draining, I hope this helps you today.
Authenticity teaches us to recognize and trust our feelings, all of them. The ups, downs and ugly cries in between. Being authentic shows you how to act in a way that is consistent with your values.
It’s about being real. You know, as a opposed to fake. I have lived both ways in my life and each were learned behaviors. If we can learn it, we can unlearn it.
This blog isn’t about how to learn how to understand your language of emotions, that is the work I do with my clients and it is way more than I can share here.
So where do we begin?
We can start with giving ourselves permission to feel and be uncomfortable. We can choose to become more authentic and real in our relationships. The first step is awareness to where you are being inauthentic.
The real and authentic self is cultivated from being exposed to life’s tough and happy moments. When I learned I would become a mother in 2008, I was having a tough time in my relationship and I knew that I wanted to learn to be more emotionally connected, honest and real in my life.
Someone I was close to asked me the question, “Renee, are you happy?” Here I was, newly pregnant and enjoying it but when I answered her question, out of my mouth came these words, “No, I’m not happy.” I was shocked by my own answer. I was so used to hiding, putting a smile on my face, saying my affirmations and unconsciously disguising my true feelings, that I was surprised by my own truth.
It felt good to share so honestly.
I got to thinking, when did I stop being honest with my true feelings? When did I start hiding? And why did I think I had to?
The paradox of “happy” is that none of us are happy all the time. Nor would we want to be. I think our culture misleads us with this idea, especially in the United States.
When we have darker moments, they make room for the brighter ones to shine so much more.
I used to work for this company that often said the slogan, “we’re liv’n the dream”. I bought into that idea with every dollar I had in the bank and what it meant for me was that when things weren’t going well, I wasn’t worthy, good or important. I bought into this fairytale of life where everything had to be perfect or the dream was dead. When I wrote in my journal, at the time, it was in affirmations, dreams and goals. What was missing was the real, low down dirty truth of how I was feeling.
The reality is that life is hard at times. It throws us challenges. Most of my life has been filled with uphill climbs and massive lessons that I’ve had to grow from.
I made a decision that I was going to be vulnerable with myself and open up. I would be honest with myself about all the feelings and emotions. I would start in my journal and would write about reality. I wanted more of this authenticity stuff and I knew I had to feel to get there.
Renee is the name my father chose for me. He named me after the song, “Walk Away Renee”. Written for the band the Left Banke in 1966 and it later became a hit with the Four Tops. I always liked this name and the song. I’m grateful he chose it for me.
Renee also means “rebirth”. It’s not just the meaning I like, I believe rebirth is possible for everyone and everything. Humans are always changing.
Jane, my middle name, is my mothers first name and she gave this to me. My mother gave me the gift of life. She has taught me about human nature. Our relationship has inspired me to learn deeply about the language of emotions. The meaning of Jane is, “God is gracious”.
When I came into this world, I started out as Renee Jane Bauer. By age 5 or 6, my quiet demeanor was identified as “shy” by adults. I spent hours most days, at a table, drawing pictures, creating and building. Completely content being alone, I didn’t feel shy on the inside, I had a powerful voice and ideas in there that I could hear. Then my parents were getting a divorce and the feelings happened. Then the walls formed around me and I used my play time as a way to numb what I didn’t understand how to feel.
I believe many of us do this as children. Some trauma occurs and we stop feeling. We aren’t taught how.
As a child, I learned coping skills to shut down my feelings. Many of us learned these tools… because living a fairy tale seems easier than facing challenge, at the time. Parents don’t always want to discuss hard things with kids because they want to protect them. Just think about it, based on your culture, upbringing or family values, you likely have all kinds of ways you’ve been taught about feeling emotions. We are taught to stop feeling emotions or we are taught to hide them, cover them up or keep them in camouflage so we can manage in the world. We were taught that emotions are for “sissy’s” and make us weak.
Years later, I would abuse food, sugar, smoking, relationships and work to help me numb the range of emotions and feelings I had going on daily.
I believe authenticity is rooted in a language of emotions and feelings. You start to learn to trust that these will guide and take care of you.
We all have an inner genius hidden within our feelings and emotions because it is our native language. The problem is that for so many of us, including myself, we didn’t know this language existed or how to use it.
The best way to pilot our way in this world is through being honest about our emotions. The alternative, at least for me, was a belief that unless I was joyful or happy something was wrong with me and I needed to be fixed.
But we aren’t broken! We don’t need to be fixed.
As I grew into a young woman, I allowed my need to “be liked” to be stronger than my truth. I started to seek acceptance and approval from others outside of myself.
Deep down, I thought I was broken. I believed that I needed to be perfect to be accepted and loved.
I bought into the cultural ideas that “crying is for the weak”, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”, “I don’t have anything to be angry about” and “I should just be happy”.
The tough girl persona emerged. I was the girl who didn’t cry in movies or have time for all that feeling stuff. I didn’t understand that being unhappy, angry, confused or sad were normal feelings so I shamed myself for them.
As a teenager, I learned to stopped honoring my creativity and intellect. I began to distrust my instincts.
I ended up attracting a job and a new relationship soon after. This environment matched up with my current reality where I lacked of confidence and had a desire to belong. I was so gullible back then.
The new job and soon the new relationship seemed exciting. There were new friends who had goals. Looking back, it gave me a sense of security and meaning while also giving me a way to numb out the uncomfortable feelings I was having at that time.
This created a real disconnection with my real needs.
Self-deception is the worst kind of deception because it is how we end up on a path in life that doesn’t feel authentic and real to who we are.
Now I was hiding behind my workaholism and a new man. I ended up getting married four years later.
I took his name. Further losing my identity and never once trusting the initial feelings I had to keep my own sense of self and name. I owned that new name for 9 years and another 4 after divorce. As a devoted mother and private person, I won’t share much about the dissolution of my marriage, the divorce and years that followed with exception to this:
It was the most challenging growth experience I have had to date and now that I’m on the other side, the most powerful. I learned to leave my victim identity behind and reconnect to my mission, intuition and Self. My emotions became my best teachers. I rediscovered my self esteem. I have no regrets for my son or for myself.
Manny is kind hearted, funny, tender and deep. It is important that he grows up experiencing the best version of his mother as my most empowered, empathic self. Teaching him to use his voice and how to discern and empathize in this world requires me to continue growing in my authenticity too.
During this time, my business, Love Yourself Naked®, was also birthed… I learned lessons in vulnerability, addiction, trust and honesty. Nakedness meant living in reality. I had no other choice but to live so I could speak my truth and evolve authentically. I built this entire Love Yourself Naked® business through advocacy for health: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.
For the past couple of years, my last name has stirred up thoughts and a range of emotions that I allowed myself to process and feel.
I kept Heigel as my last name post divorce for 2 reasons. First, it was the name I build my entire business around. I had spent 7+ years putting my blood, sweat and tears into creating this coaching practice, programs and online identity with a purpose to help people get healthy. I have been known as “Renee Heigel” for so long that there are a lot of people who actually think Heigel is my maiden name. Second, my son’s last name is Heigel too. It’s been important to me that we have matching names, until now.
I’ve asked for advice from people I trust and I meditated on it. I’ve heard answers from people, usually stemming from the fear of change that I was projecting outward. They mentioned my “personal brand in business” or “my credibility” or “all my work would be lost” or “my online identity” won’t match anymore.
These were valid points. I had a decision to make: Stay with the name that I have outgrown or rename and cast aside the 7+ years of a business identity I worked hard to build.
I chose the latter.
Now that I have evolved and stripped myself naked of so many of the identities that I once carried, I know that my safety, creativity and freedom manifests from within my ability to feel it all.
This value of learning my emotional language means knowing myself so well that I don’t need others to make me feel important or validated.
This I know to be true: People know me because of my reputation and for how I make them feel when I show up in life.
It’s also important that I identify with a surname, something that is distinctive to who I am in the world now.
I chose to use “Jayne” as my last name. It’s a combination of my middle name and I’ve added the “Y” so it’s fully mine. There is more symbolism here that I will keep to myself.
An Urban Dictionary favorite:
“Jaynes are usually wildly intelligent and crafty. Likely to take over the world using robot ninja powers and cunning. I am Jayne, ruler of the universe”
In all seriousness and in celebration, I would like to re-introduce myself to you.
My name is Renee Jayne. (It feels super weird to say at first for me too… maybe we can get used to it together and take our time with it? What do you say?)
My mission has not changed, in fact, it’s gotten stronger.
New name, new programs.
I guide people to their own empowerment and truth of who they deserve to be. I am an ambassador of health: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. I am a teacher and student of exquisite self love and care. A superhero: here to help save the planet from abuse.
Sincerely,
Renee Jayne
PS. This is where I would love to hear from you. What is your experience with living authentically in your life? Share in the comments below. I love hearing from you.
Dry Brushing Your Skin: the what, why, how and results
For those of you who need a reminder on dry brushing your beautiful body or maybe the details on what it is, why it is So important or how to do it… This video is for you.
I made this LIVE video chat on Periscope a little while back, during one of our Community cleanses called the 18 Day Cleanse Challenge.
The cleanse is open for registration as a self study and I host Live seasonal cleanses in the spring and fall, click here for details.
I bet you’ll find this video useful as you explore the importance of lymphatic and liver cleansing.
Press Play, below.
Renee
PS. Click here to buy the brush I use.
Morning Ritual That Will Change Your Life
Hello everyone! It’s Renee Heigel here with loveyourselfnaked.com and today I am chatting about one of my morning rituals that is imperative to shifting your self worth, inner game and self talk. If you want to love yourself, your life and change your mindset, a morning ritual and regular practice is so necessary.
I have personally learned the hard way from pressing the snooze button over and over in the morning and getting out of bed with dread and I have seen first hand how this has impacted my business, my personal life and relationships. Please learn from me and know this – how you start your day is how you experience your day and life. Make it count!
LOVE YOURSELF NAKED with RENEE HEIGEL VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:
Here I am, post run… a little out of breath and talking about ritual, creating habits and a morning routine that creates optimal health for our life and our body.
So many times I am on a call with my beloved clients or maybe even a new conversation with someone I have never met before and we bump up against these barriers and walls of “how do I get past the hump of consistently working out” or “how do I make the best green drink” (mine was totally brown in the video…ha!) or “how do I find the time to meditate?”.
So here are a couple quick nuggets:
1) Stopping The Mind
The number one most important and imperative thing, of all health… beyond working out, food, everything… is being able to stop our mind. .
In order to do this, we must have a consistent practice in training the mind to have breaks. So even if I don’t have a lot of time to work out (or meditate), for example, I just ran as fast as I could around the block (you’ll notice, I’m still out of breath in the video above) in about 10-11 minutes and I enjoyed the run.
I listen to my breath and repeated a mantra saying in my head while I was running.
2) Post run (or any body movement activity): have a healthy drink and sit in meditation
I will sit for 10-20 minutes, based on how much time I have. We might sometimes think… “I don’t have that kind of time for that, she must have this great luxury”.
I’m very busy, much like many, many of you, but what I have found is that if I actually get myself to make some kind of a healthy green drink (something that gives me lots of nutrients, here is an example and here is another) and I take the time to move my body, in some way, even if it’s only 5 minutes and I take some time to sit in some kind of a meditative state, whether I’m saying a mantra, listening to a meditation or just following my breath – it actually gives me more time in the day.
I’m much more efficient, I’m much more effective and if I start to get off focus like I cannot make a decision, I find that I’m more effective at being decisive and making the choices that I need to throughout the whole rest of my day.
When I’m really, really consistent with these kinds of practices:
*Moving my body
*Training my mind to be calm
*Nourishing myself with good food
It impacts every single area of my life – my relationships, my career and of course my body sees the benefits and even my personal communication and how I show up when I make videos, i’m interviewed for a podcast or teaching a class or coaching my clients.
So I really want to encourage you – create a ritual. Do something consistently every single day, even if it’s only for a couple of minutes.
Thanks for tuning in to Love Yourself Naked, I’m Renee Heigel.
Do you have a morning ritual or practice that you love? I’d love to hear about it. Join the conversation and share in the comments below so we can connect. I adore hearing from you. xo
Why you are detoxing in the first place (video interview)
Before you watch the awesome video I made for you below, I want to talk to you about the pollutants that we quietly fear are killing us (slowly).
I had the opportunity yesterday to talk with a woman who not only teaches practitioners how to cleanse, but why we need to detox or cleanse in the first place.
I went a little nuts when I was prego in 2009, I cannot tell a lie… I went on a rampage getting rid of toxins in my home.
Is that scrubbing bubbly smelly cleaner that I use in my bathtub contributing to my asthma, skin rashes or hormonal issues….?
Enter: Lara Adler
Lara is an environmental toxins expert. She also happens to be one of my great friends and colleagues, and I’m so grateful to have the chance to chat it up with her in person this week while I’m in Queens and Manhattan.
Whether you are kind of freaking out that the pesticides in your food are impacting you, or you just want to learn more about cleansing and detoxing, you need to hear what Lara has to say in the video below.
Awareness.
Lara and I talk about bees, secrets, loud car horns and of mostly how you can know what’s in your environment and what To Do About It Right Now.
I know that when you really listen to your body, you’ll remember that your body cleanses naturally when you support it by limiting exposure to toxins.
Toxins can include our childhood pain, poor diet choices and external pollutants… Many of which we have a choice in exposing ourselves to!
With solve many of these issues with the cleanse opening May 6.
I have invited Lara to be a guest for our cleanse so you can learn more from her. Today, she has some key guidelines to share in the video below.
As many of you know, the 18 Day Love Yourself Naked Challenge cleanse begins on May 6. You can find the details here.
Many of you have never invested in yourselves or your health like this before. It’s a big step!
Taking action requires an informed decision.
I wanted you to have as much information as possible for you to decide if a cleanse is the right choice for you.
Watch this video interview with Lara below, and then scroll to the bottom of this post for info on a free, live Q&A call I’m hosting this Sunday, the day before cleanse registration closes.
{Lara Adler website for practitioners}
Leave us a comment.
Community and conversation make the greatest ripple effect for change.
Love Yourself Naked,
Renee xo
PS. The cleanse is filling and if you want it, step forward and rise. I promise to catch you and support you as you step into your Love Yourself Naked self.
Register here.
PPS. I’m hosting a free Q&A call on Sunday. Details below.
Sunday, May 5, 4:00pm EDT, 1:00pm PDT
Call-in info:
Title: The 18-Day Love Yourself Naked® Challenge Q&A Call
Phone Number: (206) 402-0100
Pin Code: 707551#
Lighting your fire {digestion} part 1
People in America are obsessed with ice water!
I’ve traveled through South and Central America and Europe and it is pretty common to receive a bottle of room temperature water with your meal. They are on to something…
Imagine with me here…
Your belly is a wood burning stove and inside a roaring fire.
Here is the truth. That ice water is squelching out your fire.
The objective is to stoke that fire. To add the right things to that fire to keep it hot and burning at high capacity.
The hotter and bigger the fire, the easier it is to digest anything you put inside.
I have some tips below on how to help kickstart your fire right now, but before I get to those, you need to know the “WHY”.
Without knowing the WHY… you will likely not keep up with this practice and that would be a big mistake. Please read this in full.
Oh and you will be able to read part 2 on building this roaring fire and I’ll be sharing specific foods that can help you.
I’m also hosting a free call on this topic. You will need to register here to get the details. In only takes 30 seconds tops.
On the call we are going to dive head first into this stuff (cleansing your body and cleasing emotions, starting fires, and much more)
So why do we cleanse?
We are exposed to lots of toxins. Internal and external. Enviornmental. Pesticides. Emotional.
Cleansing resets our system. It allows us to rebuild that fire good and hot so you can digest things.
It’s not necessarily the bell peppers that give you heart burn.
Now, there are a small handful of you who may have a true issue with those, but for the majority (yes, you are probably the majority)… you can’t digest them because your digestive fire isn’t strong enough.
It’s easier to blame the food.
We often get used to these stories… “I cannot eat tomatoes or peppers… they give me heartburn”
“Coffee gives me heartburn”
Well yes, it does. But, I have some news for you… it’s not the foods fault!
The root cause is that your fire is no longer blazing, it’s starting to die down. For some of you it might just be sparking and keeping some embers going.
Stress, worry, emotions, poor food choices, little sleep, lack of knowledge, acidic foods, chemicals and other toxins all contribute to the decrease in our digestive fire.
This is scary.
When your digestive fire is dying down it can no longer burn off the toxins that your body naturally wants to destroy. Your body is self cleansing and it will do a lot of the cleansing work for you.
But…
The lower the fire is burning, the fewer toxins it can get rid of.
The higher the fire is burning the more toxins it clears out.
Nearly 46% of Americans struggle with digestion issues. I bet many more have them but they have become so used to them that they don’t see it as an issue anymore… assuming it’s just how things are supposed to be.
When we don’t clear these toxins out… they get reabsorbed into our blood stream and cells.
This is the cause of disease.
Here are things that end up happening.
Our organs suffer. Our arteries clog…
We have weaknesses both mentally and physically…
And then there are other symptoms like…
Insomnia.
Allergies.
Depression.
Constipation.
Skin issues.
Reflux and indigestion.
High Cholesterol.
Cancer.
Colds and flus.
The list goes on and on and on….
Almost anything can be linked back to your digestion.
The goals.
*Eradicate the disease before it happens.
*Fix your digestive fire.
Before I share a few things that I want you to start immediately to build up that cozy little bonfire in your belly, please join me for a free call I’m hosting on this topic. Here is how to join me.
Get your fire going.
*Stop the cold water and ice! Get used to asking for water with no ice or order hot water with lemon.
*Sip room temp water with your meals versus slamming lots of water before, after and during.
*Don’t overeat, eat slower and breathe in between bites. You are not running a marathon. You are nourishing your most important garden with nutrients.
*Begin using, eating and cooking with ginger. This will kindle the fire. Adding lemon helps too.
Stoke that fire nice and hot and I will write to you again in a couple of days for Part 2.
With fire,
Renee
PS. I would love to see you on this free call with me. I will be talking about cleansing your body and emotions and diving deeper into starting up this fire. If this is relating to you in any way, register now and reserve your spot.
PSS. For those of you Local in Michigan, I will be speaking about this topic LIVE at Better Health Markets in Novi, Southgate, West Bloomfield and Grosse Point this month. I’d love to meet you in person. You can RSVP right here.
Why you are not sleeping
You may be coveting sleep like it is the last drop of water on earth and yet there are times you cannot get yourself to get any.
You’re enticed by the quick fix, the glass of wine, the little pill or the nature sound music.
You’ve tried the lavender on your pillow, the new mattress, the change in schedule and diet.
You’ve stopped the late night caffeine. Nothing is working.
You are beginning to feel like you are losing your mind.
It’s crucial you get this sleep. You cannot stand living like this anymore.
You are feeling a little hopeless because this has happened so many times before.
You’ll read the book; you’ll do some breathing or write.
Your brain is wired.
You feel so drained and yet completely out of control.
Still nothing is working.
You glance at the clock again. 4 am.
I might as well just lay here for an hour longer and then get up…
Now…
You’ve adjusted yourself to a “normal” life with less sleep while you tell silly stories about how you only need 4 or 6 hours when you know intuitively you really need more.
Bedtime stories à trois.
I sit in a Starbucks as I type this and I observe without judgment. I like to do these observations of human behavior from time to time… in pharmacies, grocery stores, restaurants and coffee shops mostly. What are we drinking, eating, consuming? How are we behaving and how does it have an impact on our human behavior and health.
Un.
There is a man sitting with his girlfriend and he’s reading the newspaper and he is back and forth to his phone. Paper, phone, paper, phone. He’s drinking out of a green straw that is dipped deeply into a sugary coffee drink covered in whip cream… His drinks are tempting and he wants more. He hasn’t removed his lips from the straw… he drinks this warm beverage like it’s his lifeblood. His eyes haven’t left his paper or phone. The girl… she is looking around the room. At the fireplace, the books, her coffee and people. She looks so incredible sad. Her posture is rounded and she is sunken into the chair. Her eyes look down so deeply that I wish I could get up and hug her right now and tell her how beautiful she is inside. She wants to be seen and loved by him…. He doesn’t notice her.
Deux.
I’m in a restaurant with my grandparents and son, we are eating breakfast. There is a man, a wife and their son. The boy is around 10 years old. The man is eating pancakes, the son is eating waffles and the wife is drinking only a cup of coffee. She is sitting quietly by herself moments from tears as her husband and son spend the entire breakfast on their phones. There is no conversation taking place between any of them. She is embarrassed. She is visibly depressed by her reality. She says nothing and continues to sip her coffee. I could feel her sadness from where I was sitting and the tightness in her throat.
Trois.
Years ago, as my driven nature sprung forth to grow my passion, my business, I began staying up later and later at night. I was a brand new mom and reflecting back I was also looking for an outlet to remind me that I was still a feminine woman. New moms will understand that statement and I was used to being up at night… often nursing my son anyway. My former marriage was hard at the time and I innocently poured myself into work. All of the addictions to work I had in the past came rushing back and it wasn’t until later in one moment that I became aware of what I was doing. I then knowingly allowed them to consume me once again.
I stayed up later and later. I was writing and creating some amazing stuff so it was easy to justify and yet slowing killing my adrenals and my tender body. I undoubtedly wasn’t fostering intimacy in my marriage. I wasn’t as present of a mother for my son. I was sacrificing myself and choosing my computer instead. It wasn’t until later that I realized that the “addiction” to staying up and working late was self-punishment.
I was angry with myself and this was my way of hurting me. I had shifted from creative genius to angry zombie in a few short months and yet I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t sleep. I began pulling all nighters… I went down the rabbit hole of a sleepless-depression.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There are triggers that cause our sleep problems. Stress, computer or phone usage, travel, work or relationship issues. Trauma within our life or bodies or potential hormonal shifts. Emotional causes as well as food, drugs or alcohol make impacts too.
Sleep is essential for a person’s health and wellbeing and yet there are millions of people who do not get enough. As a practitioner, it is one of the most common complaints I get from people when I begin working with them. Interestingly enough, it isn’t just adults experiencing sleep problems, it’s also our children.
Today, I want to offer you a NATURAL SLEEP perspective.
Sleep is natural to life. Your body already knows how to heal, you were born to sleep and you will do it again.
If our inner sleep rhythm is off then there is always a natural solution to it. I’m talk’n Circadium Rhythms, laws of nature and daylight.
I’m speaking now to your biology as a human being.
The release of melatonin from your pineal glad makes you feel sleepy. As the morning light comes up, on a cellular level we feel it and then drip, drip, drip… more melatonin and we wake up.
Sleep is a signal that says, hey body… time to regulate your cortisol, thyroid and estrogen.
Without sleep you are throwing your hormones completely off balance.
Causing hundreds of difficulties with your health and body.
Intuitively you know this.
Also, it’s the reason why you’ll do almost anything possible to get it, right?
AND YET…
We have late nights, tablet, computer and phone use that is non-stop. We have caffeine, alcohol, anxiety, eating late at night and stress holding us back.
We look for the quick fix versus the root of the issue. The quick fix will provide exactly that and will create major issues long term.
A very recent study at the time of this post shows that sleeping pills don’t work well. There is 50% placebo affect. They are also shown to increase mortality and are linked to cancer.
OWN YOUR SLEEP!
Get more answers that are personal to your body and Dosha. Schedule a session with Renee here.
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There is nothing more important than your sleep and there is no better time for you to change your life to focus on your sleep. Your life really does depend on it.
Dirty Little Sleep secrets.
Bye, bye.
Remove your computer, tablets and phone from your bedroom completely. The body’s circadian rhythm tells us to get ready for sleep as the sun goes down. That light from your tech gadgets confuses your body and melatonin and keeps you awake. Staring at a screen before going to bed kills your sleep and your sex life too.
Your bedroom.
This needs to be a sanctuary. Sex and sleep only. Remove all technology from it. Clean and organize clothing, closets, and under the bed. Create a space that invites the two functions of the bedroom. Make it dark. Keep the room cold… Yes, below 67 degrees. Practice sex and sleep. Both masturbation and sex increase endorphins (similar to a good workout) that this will make you sleepy.
Your food.
Reduce or eliminate caffeine. Drinking warm almond milk with nutmeg is soothing. Eliminate alcohol. This actual makes it harder to sleep… drinking wine is a myth. Enjoy chamomile tea and foods that have magnesium and vitamin B. Dark green leafy veggies regularly throughout the day. Legumes, nuts and seeds.
Your routine.
Work out and get exercise daily. Get outside as much as possible for natural light to increase your melatonin throughout the day. Ideally, you want to be in bed before 10pm. Journal out your stresses, to do’s, work or relationship struggles and leave them before you get into bed. Meditate and breathe before bed if necessary. Take a warm bath.
Your awareness practice.
Meditate, each morning and between 5-7pm (as the sun goes down) preparing your body for sleep.
Your breathe.
I just spent the weekend with Andrew Weil and Deepak Chopra and a few hundred practitioners learning about the power of healing. Breathing can change your life… when you do it properly. Most of us don’t. Here is a specific breathing technique that can change your life, it changed mine: Andrew Weil 4-7-8 Breathing.
Your mentality.
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty damn determined to find a way to live life to my fullest potential each day. For both me and you, as a practitioner and entrepreneur it is absolutely necessary that I live the practices I share with you. The most successful entrepreneurs that I know, meditate, sleep well, eat amazing, have great sex, thriving friendships, good relationships and a great community. They read and grow their soul through personal development. So… You find a way. That is the mentality. You find a way to not sacrifice YOU for other things.
Your toxicity.
You may need a little internal and external cleansing. Toxic build up within the body creates disease, stress and sickness. The more toxic you are, the harder it will be to sleep. Your emotions and past issues from childhood are held deep within your cells. This creates stress. We watched our parents struggle with sleep and so we may do the same. Poor sleep is NOT genetic. It isn’t a life sentence; it is a learned.
Your environment.
Dim lights around the house and light candles. Burn incense or use essential oils that help with sleep. Turn off television, computers and gadgets within an hour before you sleep. Play relaxing music or nature sounds.
Your supplements.
Magnesium and B complex vitamins are essential. I always recommend eating foods that contain these as a first option. Valerian root is helpful and there are others that I would recommend to a private client after knowing their body and history.
From my heart to yours,
xo
Renee PS. If you are interested in scheduling a private session with me for sleep, life or health, please email Liz at support@reneeheigel.com for details.
3 C’s to sustaining weight loss + 10 action steps
You have this story of your weight gain and loss. The story of your life. I bet you’ve told it often. Maybe not to many others, but it plays like a broken record in your own head.
This story is all of yours, it belongs to you. It’s been molded by your culture, your parents, your childhood and that hurtful comment from your peer on the school bus. You’ve taken it with you and it’s weight is worth decades of baggage.
It weighs you down.
Because this story is yours… all of yours. You can change it. You have that ability. Only you.
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Who is this girl, Renee, who looks to be skinny teaching me about weight loss, you ask?
I’ve lost 15-20 pounds but I’ve helped lots of people lose from 5-70+ pounds.
What you need to know about me is that I’m blunt, I’m a bit edgy and smart. I know my craft. I will tell you like it is with deep love and compassion.
Why is this important?
Because I promise to say stuff to you that you haven’t heard before or that get’s deeply under your skin and makes you think about something differently?
I like to do this because I’ve been in your shoes…
And, I know that sometimes that is what it takes to grow and change.
If you don’t like what I have to say, you can either stop reading or you can take a good look at why what I am saying bother’s you so much.
Is there truth that you might not want to see?
No, we don’t have the same story or struggles. I’ve had my own. I’ve overcome several different types of addictions; struggled with emotional eating, hit rock bottoms.
Here is what we have in common… we have a story. You have yours, I have mine.
I learned that I can change my story and it changed my body and my life.
I learned that I needed a little courage and resilience and to be aware when things were really chaotic.
You can do this too. Anyone can.
I believe sustaining weight loss begins with 3 factors, which I’ll share in a moment.
Then I’m going to share the 10 keys that I believe will make an immediate impact on sustaining weight loss. Note, I am saying “sustaining”.
Anyone can lose weight for a month or two, right?
I have a much higher expectation for you and the world: Long term health.
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The 3 C’s of sustaining weight loss.
Courage.
I like the term “radical”. It’s kind of gotten a bad wrap politically but I want to change that… What you want is radical change, right? You want a drastic difference and let’s be honest, that takes courage!
It also takes some courage to really look at what this next sentence means to you…
“Your weight is a reflection of something emotionally you are dealing with that you haven’t let go of yet”
The body’s suffering is a mask. It’s like our mind is in such pain that it needs to hold up this mask to hide what is really suffering. Our bodies are carrying weight to hide our pain.
It takes courage to look at the diversity of yourself as a person. To see all the parts of you and own them, whether you want to or not.
Community.
When we collaborate and contribute to others we gain the most love and I believe this is what also helps us to lose the weight. It’s really by serving others that we can see ourselves.
When you have a community, you are forced to show up with your heart. You are forced to open it up too (scary!). We are pretty good at keeping lots of walls around our hearts typically, aren’t we?
Community strengthens you and you need it to thrive in health. It forces you to open.
Commitment.
No one is going to lead your life but you and each moment is a choice that you make.
Stop looking backwards! Nothing worked or maybe something kind of did. Either way, it’s over, it’s done. Leave it behind. Be grateful for it and move on and learn NOW.
Learn differently and unlearn that old stuff if you have to.
You must be able to sit with yourself and on one-hand see where you are right now, why you are there and who you are. You must be able to see who you are with all the fears, realities and feelings.
You must be able to sit in that same space but in the other hand see the vision of where you are going and feel the desires for it, with a knowing that you will attain it and to see it clearly.
Your commitment is seeing these two different versions of YOU and bridging the gap between them.
You are committed to the outcome with an understanding that weight loss is a process not a goal. The gifts are in the process, NOT the end result.
Please take some time with the next 10 steps. Again, this is a process.
These steps will create long-term weight loss. Work the steps and dive deeply into each of them.
Hang these on the wall, the fridge, or the bathroom mirror.
10 Action Steps
Self-awareness practice.
If you’ve been following the blog, you’ll know how strongly I feel about the connection we have to our emotional health and nutrition + weight loss. I believe one of the most important steps is to cultivate a self awareness practice which includes: self care, self love, self compassion, self respect, self worth and much more.
Community.
In community we strengthen each other. Human beings need to be seen, heard, touched and loved to thrive. We will lose weight when we can attract a community of support and stretch. A sisterhood. A brotherhood. Even if it’s with only one other person to begin with.
Your team.
Sometimes we need some “tweaks” along the way to shift the body into fat burning mode or to remove the blocks that have been holding us back. Utilizing health coaches, life coaches, chiropractic, holistic or naturopathic practitioners, doctors, acupuncture, reiki, massage, sauna’s, tapping and more can be catalysts in your journey at different points in time.
Feminine weight loss (for men too!) READ THIS.
The yin and the yang. We all have both feminine and masculine within us, that is how we are made. If you are trying to lose weight then you must begin by tapping into your feminine spirit (this has nothing to do with being a woman by the way). This feminine spirit is the evolution of your human self that is open and receiving of love. This means letting go of driving and controlling and instead opening the doorway for you to truly connect with your body. It’s time to create a true intimacy with your body.
Hormone healing.
There are hormonal imbalances that hold us back from losing weight. They involve insulin, cortisol, leptin and thyroid hormone and sometimes genetic cases. This can be assessed by working with your practitioner but you can begin to heal your hormone’s naturally and I can show you how. Please avoid unhealthy fats like peanut oil, vegetable oil, canola oil, soybean oil, margarine, hydrogenated oils and low quality meats. Instead focus on healthy fats regularly and first thing in the morning. Choose from olive oil, real and raw butter, fish oils, coconut oil or ghee. Eat more fish, grassfed meat (if needed) and chia seeds. This is a start.
Resistance.
There is something very real called weight loss resistance and it can be very frustrating, often depressing. It happens when men or women have an imbalance that makes losing weight super tough even after doing everything deemed as “right”.
This is where gut healing comes into play. We know that when we eat less calories or work out, we’ll lose weight and while this is true and we have the science to back it up, the reality for many is that counting calories, eating right and working out doesn’t work. Why?
One reason is that there is some gut healing to be done. Our guts have a healthy bacteria/intestinal flora and this helps us lose weight. It is not the only option, but unless your gut is healed you won’t be able to move forward.
Another reason is likely hormones (see above). I’m sure there are a few more that have yet to be discovered by scientists too…
Eliminate sugars.
Your body is trained by you. You have either trained it to burn fat or to burn sugar. It can be untrained thought. If you are in a sugar burning mode you will store fat. The more sugar that you have in your body, the more toxic you will be. Sugar feeds obesity, cancer, heart disease, diabetes and many others. You must cut it all out to begin. Use the winning the sugar game program to help you get started.
Movement.
If you aren’t moving you are dying. We are all dying. Pretty harsh reality, but you must be reminded that the vessel you have as your body is your home and unless you move it daily, it will not last as long. You can “wish you would have” done more when you are 70 and missing out on your family or you can do something about it now and guarantee time with that family. Be committed to move you’re a$$ everyday. It’s the best investment you can make in you.
Detoxify and release toxins.
Toxins make you fat and your body is likely filled with them. This subject is not fun because no one wants to think of the sea of toxins we live in and that live in us, right? However, unless you look at the reality of your bathtub cleaner, facial lotion, deodorant, tooth paste, the chemicals on your fruits and veggies and within your packaged foods, you will fight a losing battle with weight and health. Your skin is your biggest organ. Do you know what you are putting on it and exposing it to? This is a drastic lifestyle shift and it is necessary for long-term weight loss and health. Take steps today to detoxify your cells.
Richly nourished.
One of the reasons we don’t lose weight also comes from the fact that we are lacking the nutrients, minerals and vitamins that we need so desperately to keep our bodies in balance. Your body is craving foods with colors, diversity and excitement. It is craving more veggies, seeds, nuts and occasional fruits. Most of the time, what you put in is probably more important that what you take out.
I used each of these 10 steps to completely change and heal my life. I happily work them every single day still and not only are they the backbone to the Love Yourself Naked® programs I offer, but also I believe they are the backbone to sustaining weight loss and long term health.
I see you.
You are loved.
You ARE love.
You are beautiful.
You are a spiritual being.
Change your story.
You can do anything.
You are everything.
With commitment to your love yourself naked journey,
Renee
xo
PS. I love hearing from you. What are your thoughts on sustaining weight loss? Which of the 10 steps do you feel like you need to focus on most right now? Leave a comment below, I always respond myself.
I’ll have what she’s having – 3 tips to getting what you want
Last week.
This last week, I spoke to millions of people via a Fox News segment and also hundreds of people about Winning Sugar at local Better Health Markets near my home. Thank you for joining me on this blog if you’ve been following from the beginning or you are joining in now. I’m honored to be with you.
The sugar program info is here.
That’s me to the left, out with a friend, laughing so hard it hurt and dining on some awesome Middle Eastern cuisine. I was also over tired and in bed an hour after that photo.
One of my most profound moments last week was the woman who came up to me crying after I spoke. She shared with me that she “finally got it, that she knows this is hard, but she knows what to do now and she will do it anyway.” She thanked me a lot and we hugged.
The other moment that stuck out was shooting a pretend laser with my 3-year-old son, crashing to the floor over and over in deep full on impact playtime and laughter that left me crying and my legs bruised at the end. Rewarding and awesome.
The lesson: deep human connection.
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I’ve been asked A LOT… “Renee, what do you eat? What is your lifestyle like?”
Today, I want to share with you some things that I do every day that contribute to my health and then in a future blog I will share the 3 C’s to sustainable weight loss and sugar addiction because what you are about to read is like the appetizer to that main course.
Sometimes weight loss goals, personal health goals, letting go of sugar addiction, healing your relationship with your partner, having lots of cash and keeping it, the career you desire most… these goals feel so high up on the mountain. Having reached the summit, we feel this ecstasy only to be let down when we realize we aren’t living the fantasy.
And yet…
What holds us back?
I believe the root of what hold’s us back is the deep connection we don’t often have with humans, in particular – yourself. The connection you have with YOU.
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A story.
It wasn’t long ago where I was sitting in the doctor’s office where I see some of the physician’s patients each week. I was there as a practitioner but half way through I thought I needed to be the patient.
Prior to the session, I did my meditation and prayer for the person I was about to see. We’ll call her “Gloria” for the sake of the story. My goal is to be present and show up fully for that person and this ritual helps me. While I’m listening, I’m looking for a miracle to occur for that person, which is really a shift in perception. I am speaking only when guided to. This requires me to “hold a space” for that person that has good energy, that is free of my internal crap and thoughts and it feels safe for them to be free and vulnerable.
As Gloria spoke to me, I began having a profound pain in my chest. It really hurt and it was a stabbing feeling. I grabbed the table and squeezed tightly to try to hide it. I began thinking about what this could be and needing it to go away so I could listen to her fully. The pain only got worse. I was feeling grateful to be in a doctor’s office wondering if I might need to walk down the hall to be checked out…
I remember saying in my mind that this hour wasn’t about me and to let this go and to be present for Gloria…. To listen and snap out of it. I had a moment of getting down on myself and feeling selfish that my feelings were taking over when I wanted to be there for her. I needed to let Gloria see she was capable in the issue she was sharing, even though she couldn’t see it for herself and I was having a hard time focusing on her.
I took a few deep breaths with my hand on my heart, as Gloria spoke.
It was in that moment that I realized I needed to ask Gloria about HER chest. This idea seemed strange so I pushed away the thought at first. Gloria kept talking. I kept partially listening and hurting.
Then I asked her…. “How is your chest feeling these days?”
Gloria said, “funny you should ask that!” She began to explain that she’s been struggling with intense chest pains all week. Stronger than heartburn and quite painful. Gloria shared that it was unbearable this morning and it was hurting her right now.
Fast forward to 15 minutes later. She ended up sharing an extremely painful and fearful childhood memory and how her father and mother responded to the situation with her after it was over. Gloria began to sob. She was healing.
I believe this childhood story and the pain of her parents was weighing on her heart and her chest. I also believe it was keeping “weight on her body too”. I did recommend some “gut” healing to help her digestion, some healthy fats too… however I knew that her sobbing and sharing that story eased up most of what was weighing on her.
The Lesson: How to tell the difference between your feelings and someone else’s feelings.
I am still learning at this but getting better and better. I have a belief that many of us feel other people’s “stuff” and we end up carrying it around as our own “baggage” because we cannot tell the difference.
By the way, yes, my chest pain went away very quickly after that.
Even if you have a hard time believing that story or understanding it, I invite you to keep an open mind to it and here is why…
This concept is a Very Important factor in weight loss that not many people talk about. I’ll be sharing more about it on next week’s blog.
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Truth.
The truth set me free. I was not living in my truth for years. In other words, I was feeling like a victim rather than taking care of myself. I was blaming versus accepting. I was controlling instead of trusting.
I had forgotten who I was.
We have a choice about the thoughts we think. Our thoughts don’t just happen to us, we allow them to happen and we can change our thoughts.
Take Action: Are you aware of your thoughts? How can you listen today to the conversation you have with yourself?
When we do, we will begin to change our beliefs. However, in order to change our thoughts we must allow ourselves to actually feel them!
Feeling.
No one wants to talk about feelings. We avoid them. We think it’s too vulnerable of a place to be in. Sometimes feeling “stuff” makes us feel too ‘feminine’ (whether you are a man or woman), so we often NUMB those feelings assuming feeling anything or accessing our femininity is a sign of weakness. It’s not.
Take Action: Journal them out.
(I often ask people initially to journal what they eat and how they feel after each meal, I highly recommend this)
You know what happens though when they get to the writing about “feelings” part?
They get irritated because they don’t see the point in simply writing “I feel fine”, “I feel good”, “I don’t feel anything”
Here lies the problem (and the gift). You have forgotten how to feel. You have forgotten how to creatively express your innermost emotions.
Somewhere along the way, many of us began associating our feelings with stuff like sugar, food, work, alcohol, drugs, ‘special’ or unhealthy relationships. Instead of “feeling”, it became easier to burry, hide and numb these feelings in the bowl of pop corn, Ben and Jerry’s, work project or dysfunctional relationship.
I get it all to well. I’ve been there!
If you want to heal your food stuff, weight stuff and relationships – you must learn to feel all of your “stuff”…. Whether you want to or not!!!
This is the essence of Love Yourself Naked…. Stripping down.
Speaking of stripping down…
Looking in the mirror.
I recall staring at myself in the mirror when I was a young little girl and an adult walked by me and told me to stop being so vain. That moment stuck with me for years and years! It defined who I was. I believed I was vain.
Now, this adult obviously didn’t know at the time what they were saying could hurt or that it could have been handled differently or even the impact it would have. The comment came from their own “stuff”.
We’ve all had the moments where some said something that has never left us. We might not consciously think of it each day, but it’s become part of our story and it creates conflict in our lives, weight gain, relationship issues, etc.
I’m pretty grateful for the comment now. It was a catalyst to creating this business that serves so many others.
What if… in that moment, that adult had come closer to my little girl self and said, “get closer to that mirror. Look deeply into your eyes. What do you see?”
There is a universal belief that our reflection is a vital part of our soul.
I believe that you must stare deeply into your eyes in a mirror. You must be able to really see yourself. You may cry, you may feel uncomfortable at first. You might think it’s stupid and pointless. You may see your shame and oh boy it’s tough to see it at first, but keep staring.
You need to be seen and it’s starts with a mirror and you. Once you’ve mastered that, we can talk more about “loving yourself naked” but not until you can see your true self in your own eyes with awareness and solitude.
Take Action: practice in the mirror today
I love the Buddhist koan that asks, “what does your original face look like?”
With deep commitment to your love yourself naked journey,
Renee
xo
P.S. Looking forward to sharing on next weeks blog, The 3 C’s To Sustainable Weight Loss. Reminder that the Winning Sugar course closes this Sunday for a while since our cleanse opens soon.