I’ve been speaking with people in the last 24 hours, I get the impression that many people are silently grieving.
Are you one of them?
Many of us are struggling with human intimacy and connection right now… we may be afraid to see others (and even ourselves) in a new light. For many we might feel completely shut down and even numb. And for others we feel unsafe, not only in our own body but in the light of tragic events and devastation all over the world – we feel less safe in general.
You might act like everything is “fine”. But inside, no one know’s how bad you’re doing.
There is a decision we make, to shut people off, close off intimacy and hide. This decision comes for survival-mode. It happens when horrible, traumatic things happen in the world and it happens in our day to day life when we get “triggered” by things that remind us of childhood trauma.
It’s the woman who feels depressed, lonely and shameful for numbing out with food last night, but the next day when she is with friends or at work she is telling stories about all of the good things happening. She is avoiding the entire picture of her reality.
She is silently grieving and it is slowly eating her alive.
Withholding distorts our reality. Soon we compartmentalize and begin to live a double life. The one we know in the quiet corners of our thoughts and the one everyone else sees.
This is how I felt within my 9 year marriage, that ended over 5 years ago. I didn’t feel connected and I blamed myself. I felt shame that it was my problem. Maybe something was wrong with me. Maybe, something everything that was wrong was my fault…
So I made little decisions, every day, mostly unconscious that I was doing it, to hide my unhappiness and loneliness. I vowed to figure it out myself. I did the personal development work, I tried to change my thoughts. I did the stuff my coaches said and “focused on the positive”. I changed my food and nutrition.
And years later, nothing helped. Things were the same and probably worse.
I had completely lost touch with my feelings and emotions and I hid this from most everyone – even myself. I got lost in another persons dreams, ideas and visions. I lost myself and didn’t know how to feel anymore. I didn’t feel like I was lying or intentionally hiding, because I didn’t know any different, but in reality I was living like everything was “just fine”. In reality, everything was not fine, in fact, it wasn’t good at all.
I’m sharing this with you because transformation often requires that we separate our emotional selves from our rational minds.
And the problem is that so many of us, have not been taught how to connect to our emotional self.
Even though I had my food and nutrition figured out and this positive mind and the best coaches helping with it, everything still fell apart because I had NO idea how to get in touch with my emotions and feelings.
If you want to change your life, you must have the formula of growing yourself with your:
1) Feelings
2) Food
3) Thoughts
You must have ALL 3 of these or you will keep spinning in circles and hiding, just like I was.
By the way, your spirituality is the undercurrent of all 3 of these, however without your feelings, food and thoughts in alignment, your spirituality will be used as a mission to prove yourself.
We start with “food” first and we begin soon. There are only a few days left to get access to a quick breakthrough call with me to be a part of Love Your Life Academy.
Have the courage to say yes to an opportunity to have a breakthrough.
Love,
PS. If you haven’t already, I’m inviting you to join me on this “90 Days To Freedom” Workshop right now. It’s available for just 48 hours. Click here to listen to the the 90 Days To Freedom Workshop right now. Oh and let me know what you think below. I’d love to hear from you.