Once upon a time, I had someone ask me, “Renee, are you happy?” I paused for a moment and looked at them with blank eyes and a little shock… and I said, “No, I’m not happy.”
It took me by surprise to see that I was living my life without joy and never stopped to really consider how it could be any different. This was a huge wake up call for me.
I wanted to be happy in my life, in fact, I wanted to be the happiest person I knew and at that particular time in my life, true joy and happiness seemed so far away. I could barely see the light.
I didn’t know that my joy and happiness were actually just a few breaths away from me. I didn’t see that my happiness and joy came from inside of me and not from outward circumstances.
The other day I was walking downtown near my home and I saw this sign that said “start your weekend on fleek”
Hmm… “on fleek” about my weekend… Oh, I probably have to tell you about what “on fleek” means because I didn’t know that new internet slang term until about 6 months ago, but before I get to that wisdom, I gotta share that on this particular day, I just felt like I wanted to cry constantly. Today I want to share 6 useful tools about how we find happiness when it seems so far and out of reach.
I wanted to know why I felt this sensation of tears welling up, tightness in my throat. Yes, my senses and empathy run stronger during this time in my cycle, no doubt. I wanted to feel excited and like this moment, my day or my weekend would be “on fleek”.
What is “on fleek”?
I learned this term when I was hanging for the day with some friends doing a photo shoot… Boswell and Melissa. I guess the term dates back to 2003, but it means “smooth, nice, sweet”.
For me, it wasn’t the term that triggered me on the sign, it was the idea that I didn’t feel in alignment. I felt like I wanted to hibernate. I wanted to crawl under a rock and cry. I didn’t know why and I wasn’t allowing myself the space to do it. I was pushing on through.
As it turned out I needed a lot of downtime, mediation, laughter, herbs, yoga and healthy foods. When that was done, I realized that I also needed to let myself open up and trust… Both physically and emotionally. I was reminded that it’s all figured out, I’m safe whichever path I choose. And…. I get to live “now” and that’s the best gift. I gave myself permission to feel my feelings and confront my fears. I chose to love myself enough and then I began to love my life. I appreciated the flowers and birds chirping and the beautiful elderly couple who walked down the street hand in hand. I diligently noticed my thoughts so I could keep my focus on these gorgeous gifts around me, instead of any loud thoughts from earlier in the day. That present moment space feels like freedom to me. That is what I crave most, freedom. I want to create and teach and dance and move and love… Part of my urge to cry was a deep feeling of missing my son that day and it was also a deep yearning for some quality time with ME.
*Give yourself the space to sit with yourself and just be. Breathe and move your body in whatever way feels best.
*Dance it out – seriously- moving your body, moves your mind
*Meditation practice (sit in silence for 10 + minutes and notice your thoughts)
*Call a friend and share yourself
*Spend time in nature
*Eat veggies or a have a drink with high vitamin and mineral contents.
And remember that if you want a smooth ride and an “on fleek” week or weekend… you must remember to love yourself enough to create space for yourself. It’s this space (even if it’s a 5-10 minutes) that will open you up to the fact that your joy comes from within, not from what’s going on outside of you.
PS. Oh and note that at the time of this, we are experience Mercury Retrograde. I never used to believe in this but now I pay attention because I have seen first hand the effects on life when Mercury (the planet) decides to stop moving or go backwards. It’s a time when we want to hibernate more, slow down, be more introspective and grow through some old patterns that don’t serve us
PPS. If you have been thinking about making changes to more fully love your life, I have 2 openings currently for my Love Your Life Coaching — a one on one coaching program that shows you how to Love Your Life, your body and be the happiest person you know. I’m doing free 30 minute phone interviews with people for this right now. In this session you’ll discover the biggest breakthrough holding you back in loving your life and the steps you need to take to get the happy outcome you desire. If you are ready for this, email Jackie (our chief of client happiness) right away so you can schedule with me. These two spots will fill fast and if you’re ready, take action now: firstname.lastname@example.org